The film begins by introducing us to our hero, a guy who we can tell is depressed by the subtlety used in the making of his look. Uncombed hair? Check. Slacker clothing that implies personal apathy? Check. No ability to act in any way other than an Emo punk-ass? Big check. So our hero goes to work at a generic game company that has a staff about six people (counting him). He goes back to his apartment and discovers a package. It contains a new game system that is just a box and a headband. Man, the new Wii is even weirder than before! No, it's actually the titular machine that asks him to 'play a game.' He goes along with it and plays a game where he has to fight crime. This is our first- but nowhere the last- glimpse of this film's bad green screen budget. To put it bluntly, online video game reviewers can do better. It is called Crime Spree and features a bit with him driving a motorcycle on a nearly empty street. Feel the drama of no obstacles or traffic! He gets in a gunfight with some bad guys and learns that he can feel pain here. The system lets him quit, but warns that he can only do this one more time. This is key for later.
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He questions some guys at work (read: two) and learns that nobody else got the system! We get some filler with him at his usual restaurant, in his usual spot and with the usual lady. This really only pays off at the very end, so let's move on. I should mention the scene where he relives the tragedy that made him into a 30 Seconds to Mars fan. He is out with his lady and they decide to break into a parking lot. They climb under the fence, but fail to notice the cop there. He says 'Stop or I'll shoot' and fires six or seven bullets into her. Okay, that's a lie. He actually shoots her and then says 'stop or I'll shoot!' He somehow got acquitted of murder and is still a cop. This will also play out a bit later. Our hero goes back in the game and runs across a familiar face: that of his dead girlfriend. The game explains that it picked the faces for characters out of his memory, which also explains why the villains all look like the cop. He is a bit fazed by this, but the threat of real death makes him focus on the mission. They go around, her being completely unaware of who he thinks she is, and really overuse the film filter effect. You're not Sin City, so stop it! They are being chased because a briefcase that is handcuffed to the lady's wrist and go into a portal.
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The movie continues to get worse and worse as it goes on. They go into zombie world and get chased by shadows. By the way, turning your horror film into Captain N: The Game Master is never a good idea. Some avatars of his friends show up and pretty much embrace the 'virtual world of death' thing. After some bad effects shots and running, they end up in the third world: alien world. They are besieged by terrible alien space ships and resort to mindless shooting scenes with digitally-inserted lasers. I would rather watch Battle Planet than this right now! They get into a building, but are cornered by the cop/villain. They finally learn what is in the briefcase: the Gamebox! So the machine is...in...the machine's game and...aw, screw it. They trick the villain and escape, but the girl can't leave. She tells our hero to 'let go' and he does. In the real world, he decides to date the waitress & the Gamebox gets delivered to the cop. Ha ha...ironic. No wait, it's just dumb. The End.
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This movie really, really sucked. It was shot almost entirely on green screen and not done all that well. Most of the time, the 'interaction' was lazily done and unconvincing. Our hero was laughable & the contrast was just stupid. He combs his hair forward and wears glasses in real life (because he's depressed), but has no glasses and slicks his hair back in the game world. To make it sillier, he keeps his game look at the end. So being happy has corrected your eyes? Sign me up! The movie is just not as clever as it thinks it is. The whole thing about the Gamebox being the ticket out of the Gamebox by having an 'Exit' button on it is just trite. Fail, movie! This is not getting into the underwritten supporting characters and bad action scenes. The whole virtual fights fail because the effects are just so lackluster. Why should I care about this crap? Why should you?*
Up next, Dracula gets re-invented by a small country known as Pakistan. You have to be curious, don't you? Stay tuned...
Yikes. My personal most-hated video game movie is "BRAINSCAN", starring that screechy little bitch-boy Edward Furlong. This'n sounds at least as bad, though.
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