80's Fun: The Deadly Spawn

You know the old Hydra expression that says that three heads are better than one? Of course you do. Today's movie is a case in favor of this cliche and it comes to us from the '80s. What is it about this decade that made people so obsessed with aliens and monsters? It just seems odd, is all. Anyhow, this movie is a tightly-focused tale of a family house that becomes the nest for some damn ugly creatures. Oh and the aliens hide out there as well. I kid, I kid- but seriously, there are not a lot of good-looking people in the movie. I suppose if the movie was full of models like so many slasher films, it might take away from the reality of it all though. I demand reality in my movie about carnivorous, three-headed alien monsters! That's enough set-up. Let's get to the show with...

The Deadly Spawn

The movie begins with a meteor crashing into the Earth. Of course, this is low-budget and from the 1980s, so we can barely see crap. They discover a big rock and one of them runs off to get the camera. Since neither one of them have last names, they both meet grisly deaths at the hands of unseen monsters. The movie does give a silhouette version of the monster though- how refreshing. After the titles, we get...an unattractive couple waking up. After a few minutes, the man goes into the basement to check out a problem with the hot water. A little bit later, the mother wanders around and gets killed as well. I'll spare you all of their dialogue- you're welcome. I get that the idea of showing suburban home-life is done to contrast the monster, but it is a bit much for me to relive. We are introduced to our other protagonists here: the uncle, aunt and the two sons. Nobody realizes that the parents are dead since they had a trip planned and everyone associates their disappearance with that. God forbid that you just open a door and look! You're so close...

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You know what helps a movie's pace? Introducing even more characters, of course. Our hero has two friends over to study, but something comes up. They have discovered an alien spore by a downed power line. I also should mention that the theme of the movie is rain, which is a constant factor in the scenes. We get a subplot where the young son is obsessed with monster movies and the uncle asks him questions for a psychology dissertation on them. Does it go anywhere or lead to anything? Not really. It's weird and random, which is what's important. An electrician arrives, but meets a grisly fate when he goes into the basement. Actually, we just see the aftermath of it. Implied gore is just the same, right? This brings us to one of the longest and oddest stretches of the movie. The young son goes down to the basement and discovers the giant, three-headed alien. Not only that, but it is surrounded by numerous off-shoots and slug versions, a couple of which are eating his mother's head! What does he do? He just stands there....for several minutes. Do something!

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While our young hero stands there in shock, all sorts of havoc goes on. The mother is over at the grandmother's house for a luncheon with their friends. Of course, lots of alien slugs showing up and biting people sort of puts a damper on things. They scamper out to their car in the rain and...appear at the end of the movie unharmed. Okay then. Back in the house, the monsters finally make themselves known to everyone, but never quite appear in full-frame- how odd. It also bears a striking semblance in his movements to that of the monster from The Little Shop of Horrors. On the plus side, it does not look like the one from Please, Don't Eat My Mother. It also bursts through a door Kool-Aid Man-style. He manages to corner our heroes in the basement, but little kid is here to the rescue. He fills a monster head with flash powder and hooks it up to a light switch. After a suspense filled sequence, the monster eats the thing and gets blown to pieces. A long 'aftermath' sequence follows, complete with the sequel bait ending. This involves a giant alien coming up out of the ground to...do nothing, since they never made a second film. The End.

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This is a good film, but definitely has some curious pacing. In a way, it is the opposite of The Being. That film had about a dozen deaths in the first twenty minutes and then nothing for about half an hour. This film has a ton of action at the end, but takes a while to get to them. Once the action occurs- most of it on-screen- it is pretty satisfying. The movie does a good job of showing you a lot of the monster, but not so much that it can't be sustained (see Xtro III). Given the low-budget nature of the production, it is pretty impressive that they did so much. The movie has some odd tonality and pacing issues, but is easily a solid rental for any true fan of 80s monster movies.

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Up next, I cover a mainstream series. Of course, given how I am, you know that I have something more in mind. Stay tuned..

Sorry for this being late. The combination of work and Borderlands is a doozy.