Where is my damn clown?!? In all seriousness, this movie is not exactly chock full of killer clowns, in spite of the poster art released for it. It would be like putting a giant picture of a wolf on the poster for Bram Stoker's Dracula. I mean, there is one of those in the movie, but its hardly the focus. That gripe aside, there are some other things to say about the movie. While the film is chock full of cliche moments, it does at least approach them differently. In a nutshell, it's the horror version of A Night at the Museum. Did that sell you? Well, the film is full of familiar, if not famous actors like Corri English, Michael J. Pagan and Corey Sevier. All of those names may not ring a bell, but their horror films will. Movies like See No Evil, Metamorphosis and Killer Pad might ring a bell...to people like me. I'll be somewhat brief here as the film actually some merit to it. I know- I was surprised too! To find out just what I'm willing to SPOIL, read on...
A group of 'teens' go to the House of Fears before it is going to be opened. Why not? It's not like it's designed to scare people and things can go wrong...
For no clear reason, this artifact brings inanimate objects to life that are related to your fears. Seems like a very specific power-set, but whatever. I mean, what would happen if this thing ended up in a Wal-Mart?
The House is actually kind of neat, which both plays in the film's favor and against it. On one hand, the imagery is nice. On the other hand, who is funding this Haunted House in Oregon?
The animatronics and suits come to life. Aside from the magic aspects, I am curious how strong a plastic mannequin can be. Plus, why is this guy's fear The Killer from My Bloody Valentine?
This Mummy room is neat, but good luck deciphering whether its meant to be Egyptian or Central American. The candied skulls says one thing, but the sand and stone say another.
Remember how this movie has a clown on the poster/box art? Here he is...75 minutes into the film. He doesn't do a whole lot, but he looks cool. Other stuff happens too...so watch the movie. The End.
The House always wins. The plot of this movie is honestly quite decent. Don't get me wrong- it doesn't exactly break the mold. There is a pretty small list of horror film cliche plots and this is certainly one variation. Aside from that, the acting is decent, the characters seem real (even if just means that some of them are annoying) and the film has great atmosphere. The conceit of why they have to stay gets me a bit. Its not SPOILING too much, so I can tell you this. When things start to go bad, everyone grabs a weapon. The Final Girl- it's not even subtle here- grabs a power saw. After this, the door gets stuck and they can't get out...unless she just cuts the door open! That's just about up there with the 'We can't jump off of the train' thing in Beyond the Door III. I can get past stuff like that since the movie's atmosphere, action and scares work in the movie's favor over all. If you like horror and haven't seen this, give it a look. It's currently on Streaming, so it's only a click away. Take us away, random and nonsensical Jared Padelecki cameo...
Next up, I lead into Christmas properly...with four films about prostitutes, murder and drugs. Were you expecting something other than a third-rate Corman franchise? Stay tuned...
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