Worst of the Worst: Astro-Zombies M4- Invaders from Cyberspace

Another Ted V. Mikels Film- joy.  He's back for one last Astro-Zombies Film, since...um...I guess he felt like it.  I'd ask him why he kept going back to this...but he's dead and all.  

Life is sad sometimes.  

So what is this 4th and final Film in the Series about?  In this Film, there is now a Planet of Astro-Zombies and they attack the Earth in brand new ways.  They try a few different ways, which is the first sign of this Film's biggest problem.  

If you expected this to be a true follow-up to Part 3, prepare to be disappointed.  

If you expected it to be more like Part 2, you'll...still be disappointed.  

Basically, this is what happens when an old Director- Mikels was 83 when this came out- discovering 'a new toy' and using it in spite of all evidence to why he shouldn't.  

On top of that, the Story is...well, let me just portray the disappointment correctly in the Review proper...

After the events of the last Films, the Astro-Zombies are back to kill us.  Why?  Their Planet has an Asteroid coming at it and they apparently can't stop it.

I'm sorry, but am I supposed to be sympathetic for them now that two of them can talk (but seem to have the exact same voice)?!?

They show up and start killing people with their new eye lasers.

I guess I can't complain about the overuse of the same Practical Effects now...and just complain about how this all looks fake as s#%t.

The first section of the Film is all about two things over and over again.

First- the Astro-Zombies show up after random Tourist Footage of Cities...and then unconvincingly blow up land marks with F/X right out of After Effects...

Second- the Astro-Zombies now come through Computers and Monitors...but never in one shot.  

Yes, Demons 2 could do warping through a TV in 1986, but Astro-Zombies 4 has to cut away like a dick in 2012.

This is all funny and stupid enough.  Hell, it includes a Cameo by Rene's Dad from Storage Wars (why the hell do I know that?!?!?).

Here's where it goes wrong...

1) Abandoning this idea completely after about 20 minutes.
2) Continuing to introduce new Characters and Concepts (like how nobody knows what Astro-Zombies are now!)
3) Dropping said ideas almost instantaneously.
4) Never establishing one single Plot or idea for more than five minutes at a time.
5) A stupidly-hilarious final battle with a bunch of tiny mirrors.

Bad.  Really bad.  Bad in all of the worst kind of ways.  The Sharknado Films are almost always bad for being too ridiculous for words.  James Wan Films are bad for being one-note, jump-scare-fests.  Low-Budget Zombie Films are bad for the Writing and Production Values.  

Ted V. Mikels continued to find new and different ways to suck- kudos?  Astro-Zombies 2 was bad for just looking cheap and relying solely on the draw of the Astro-Zombies killing people.  Astro-Zombies 3 was bad for ignoring that idea in favor of a complicated and, quite frankly, boring Plot about cloning.  This Film is bad for not being any one Film for more than 5 minutes.  

The Astro-Zombies comment on how we are good at killing them, so they improve themselves with eye-lasers that either blow you up, burn you (in one Scene), turn you into charred skeletons (a few times) or blow up landmarks unconvincingly.  Next, they come through Monitors and Laptops to kill random people in private.  Afterwards, they abandon that idea for somehow shooting lightning through your cell phone to kill you.  In spite of that, people still use their phones not 10 minutes later and they *never* stop watching TV- ever.   

Here's a micro chasm of how this Film does things wrong.  We see random Doctors dissecting a never-before-seen Astro-Zombie (proving that they know about them!) and take a weird, glowing thing out of their head.  A guy steals it and monologues about how he's going to get the Astro-Zombies to work with him.  He opens up his laptop, allowing them access, tells them how he wants to work with them and...gets blown up.  End of Plot #164.  My God, this is tedious and stupid.  It is bad!

On the plus side, they didn't drag Tura Satana into this last one (but only because she was dead)...

I try not to speak ill of the dead if possible, but...thank Xenu that this is the last one of these.  Now all I have to worry about is another Remake of The Corpse Grinders (no, really!)...