Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Project Terrible: The Human Race

We begin Project Terrible with the sound of a wet fart.  Today's film is The Human Race, a recent Indy Film given to me by Maynard (who has a Horror Movie Diary), since he already saw how bad it was.  He's such a gentleman!  The movie is about a bunch of people forced to race or die.  It is not the most unique idea out there, admittedly.  The key thing is this: the mystery.  Why?  How?  If this was a good film, you would be kept guessing and be like 'Oh, that makes sense!' when you reach the End.  Unfortunately, this is NOT a good movie.  As such, you just get annoyed by the unexplained details and then get...a shitty Ending that I won't completely SPOIL.  As tempted as I am to tell you everything and spare you the 80-ish minutes, I'm feeling nice.  It is either that or I will get all the catharsis I need just mocking this trash.  Take your pick, really.  The film stars nobody you'll really know and is the Debut film of a guy who you will probably not want to know in the future.  If he ends up making a good film, I will gladly change my mind.  With only this to go by, I'm going to feel this way.  You want to know more?  You really don't, but it is too late to stop reading when I end on an ellipsis like so...
A bunch of random people are suddenly in what looks like a Prison Yard and hear a voice tell them the Rules.  Unlike the film, I will only explain it once...

* You must race.
* You touch the grass, you die.
* You get lapped twice, you die.
For some reason (perhaps to badly ape Feast), we get a few minutes of background on one of the runners.  She loses family members to a disease, gets it herself and recovers.  Back in the Present...
She is bumped accidentally by someone onto the grass and her head explodes.  That's...funny?
Our real leads are these two guys.  One of them in a Teacher, while the other is a wounded War Vet with a drinking problem (and one leg).

For some reason, the Director got bored and shot them in the reflection of a Car Mirror.  I don't know why.
We briefly get a Priest who says that this is Limbo and that they are all already dead.  Who would pull that kind of cheap trick (and lie about it for six years)?

Incidentally, this film took FOUR Years to make (2 days here, one day here, etc.).  Was it worth it?
With an initial Cast of 80 people, the film has room to wipe out the nameless, faceless people.  After that, we get some actual planning and...this kind of arty picture-in-picture crap.  Ugh.
The film also tries to be 'daring and edgy' by breaking social taboos (like killing children), but does so with absolutely no class, point or remote-semblance of drama.  It is just shocking and gross for no other reason.
The biggest issue is that nobody ever acts altruistically for all that long, leaving you with little reason to care who lives or dies.
As I said, I won't completely SPOIL the Ending, but I will give you this shot to tell you that something strange and stupid happens.  The End.
Run away- run far, far away.  Race is not a good movie.  It is not a clever movie.  As much as I enjoy Dark Comedy, it is not a funny movie.  It is not a scary movie.  What is it then?  It is a violent movie with no rhyme or reason.  It is a (CG) gory movie with no appeal.  It is a dumb, heartless movie that wants to make you go 'Ooh...nas-ty!'  If you are not shocked by the random, senseless killing, then this is just boring.  Most of the Characters have no back story (since they killed off the one with the most in the first 10 minutes).  I am not going to be the guy that lumps all Horror Fans into those of People That Only Like Gore, because that's just not true.  There are, however, some people that like that.  You guys/gals might like this one because brutal and random killing is all that it has going for it.  The Human Race thinks that it is making some sort of Commentary on Society or something.  In a way, it kind of is.  If this is all that some people can achieve with four years of work to do it in, then we aren't as advanced of a Society as we thought.  On the plus side, it provides me with the exact number of problems that I have with the Story and its execution...
Next up, I cross the border over to Chile for a bizarre Export.  If Drive was GTA: The Movie, then this is Robert Rodriguez's Cousin's GTA: The Movie.  Stay tuned...

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