Worst of the Worst?: Astro-Zombies M3- Cloned

After Alien Beasts, could things get worse?

No, but let's see how close we get...

This time, we tackle one of the last Films made by prolific Director Ted V. Mikels.  Even though he's now dead, I have to remain as critical of his work as I was when he was alive.

This is the next part in the Astro-Zombies Series...

As the third Film is this alleged Series, the Film begins with Stock Footage (that looks better than what the new Film is most of the time)...

...and more Stock Footage.  That burned about 10 minutes.

In the last Film, Aliens showed up to save the day.  One of them remained and killed an old lady.

Of course, I'm not entirely clear if that matters, because...

The Military (led by Mikels in one of his 2 Roles) just digs up the bones of an Astro Zombie to make more of them.  So was that pointless?

I can tell you what is pointless though- Mikels' other Role as the General's Twin.  He whines, talks funny and then kills himself (via Cyanide that makes him melt).  Pointless.

This lady is a Scientist trying to both clone the Astro Men AND make them more than killers.  She doesn't care how many dead Guards it takes!

Thankfully, this Film is chock full of pointless, ancillary Characters that take up space and nothing more.  Wait- was that a compliment?

As if making this a Sequel to Mark of the Astro Zombies, Mikels also references The Corpse Grinders (with a can Cameo), the original Astro Zombies Film (using a mix of Stock Footage and new Audio to put Tura Satana in this) AND The Doll Squad (his nearly-forgotten '70s Action Film).

The latter plays a big role here as the Squad is sent in to defeat the Astro Men with exploding darts.  After that, someone something Sequel Bait.

Bad, confusing stuff.  This shouldn't be like this.  This is cheap Exploitation.  I don't say that like it is a bad word- Exploitation Films can be great!  This is just a mess of a Film.  For example, we see a mysterious woman in a trench coat that works for a Senator (who was The President in the last one), hires the Doll Squad...but then seems to be working for Stock Footage Satana...who is working worth or controlling the disembodied head of John Carradine...and might have tried to stop them...or helped them...maybe.  That's just one example.  The Film is a mess of storytelling and style.  One Character is introduced as doing a Book Signing and then sits down in the Store like he owns it.  So...is he doing a Book Signing in his own Store?  Why do I need to ask that?!?  Most of the Actors are pretty damn wooden and the only good ones are in small Roles.  The Film waste so much time with random Scenes and useless Characters.  Did we need to see those Teenagers chased away from Area 51?  Did we THREE SCENES of the Writer Guy if the pay-off was just a stupid death?  It wasn't even a clever or ironic death- it was an obvious one.  Other such Characters- like a second, random Security Guard, the Hitler-stache Major and the Men in Black just take up your time.  The two previous Films for Worst of the Worst were from first time or novice Directors.  Mikels' had been making Films for over FOUR DECADES at the time of this Film, so he can't hide behind that.  I'm glad that the guy had fun, but this one is easily one of the Worst of the Worst...

A plain old bad Film.  I'm glad that they had fun making it, but I sure as hell didn't have fun watching it.