MONDO BIZARRO: Poor Bastards of Cinema: Jurassic City

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Poor Bastards of Cinema: Jurassic City

I nearly forgot about this one. Nearly!

In Jurassic City, Dinosaurs are loose in a Prison and (I guess) a City. In said City, there are...Hello!

Our friend in orange is joined by another young lady in the Hot Tub...and a Raptor.

'Oh Hai, Raptor! Why do you have a T-Rex head?'

'Oh crap- neither of us have names and are wearing Bikinis in a Monster Movie!'

What a headjob!

Damn- sorry, ladies.

This is what you get for...um...being hot and having a Hot Tub. If you were 2 fat guys in a Hot Tub, they probably wouldn't have even filmed you.

The lesson: don't be too hot or have a Tub that is.

Got it?

Next up, a Side Character in a Crime Film has a Family. They are so boned! Stay tuned...

2 comments:

AnonymousMay 15, 2015 at 1:00 AM
Is the movie boring or kinda funny?
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Round 18

1. Grim (Mondo Bizarro): http://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2015/06/project-terrible-grim-1995.html

2. Beyond (2014) {Mondo Bizarro}: http://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2015/06/project-terrible-beyond-2014.html

3. Homoti (Homo E.T.) {Mondo Bizarro}: http://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2015/06/project-terrible-homoti.html

4. Manos- The Hands of Fate (A Life in 24 FPS): http://alifein24fps.com/2015/06/03/project-terrible-manos-the-hands-of-fate/

5. Breeders (1997) {Mondo Bizarro}: http://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2015/06/project-terrible-breeders-1997.html

6. Rappin' (A Life in 24 FPS): http://alifein24fps.com/2015/06/05/project-terrible-rappin/

7. Mak0- The Jaws of Death (A Life in 24 FPS): http://alifein24fps.com/2015/06/12/project-terrible-mako-the-jaws-of-death/

8. Age of Ice (The Girl Who Loves Horror): http://thegirlwholoveshorror.blogspot.com/2015/06/project-terrible-age-of-ice-2014.html

9. The Apple (Maynard Horror Movie Diary): http://www.horrormoviediary.net/2015/06/project-terrible-apple.html

10. 100 Below Zero (The Girl Who Loves Horror): http://thegirlwholoveshorror.blogspot.com/2015/06/project-terrible-100-below-zero-2013.html

11 and 12: Baby Geniuses/Superbabies- Baby Geniuses 2 (Maynard's Horror Movie Diary): http://www.horrormoviediary.net/2015/06/project-terrible-baby-geniuses.html

13. Bolero (A Life in 24 FPS): http://alifein24fps.com/2015/06/27/project-terrible-bolero/

14. Hercules (1983) {A Life in 24 FPS}: http://alifein24fps.com/2015/06/29/project-terrible-hercules/

15. Meteor Apocalypse (The Girl Who Loves Horror): http://thegirlwholoveshorror.blogspot.com/2015/06/project-terrible-meteor-apocalypse-2010.html

16. Daniel Der Zauberer/Daniel the Wizard (Maynard's Horror Movie Diary): http://www.horrormoviediary.net/2015/06/project-terrible-daniel-der-zauberer.html

17. Space Mutiny (Maynard's Horror Movie Diary): http://www.horrormoviediary.net/2015/07/project-terrible-space-mutiny.html

18. 2012- Doomsday (The Girl Who Loves Horror): http://thegirlwholoveshorror.blogspot.com/2015/07/project-terrible-2012-doomsday-2008.html

19. Superman: Requiem (Bob): http://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2015/07/project-terrible-superman-requiem.html

20. The Trial of the Incredible Hulk (Bob): http://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2015/07/project-nostalgic-awesomeness-trial-of.html

21. Thor- Hammer of the Gods (Bob): http://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2015/07/project-terrible-thor-hammer-of-gods.html

Reviews for Bob

1.Postal: http://gamingcreatively.blogspot.com/2012/03/birthday-review-from-mondo-bizarro.html

2.Nyarko-San- Another Crawling Chaos: http://gamingcreatively.blogspot.com/2013/03/birthday-review-from-mondo-bizarro.html

3. Cuticle Detective Inaba: http://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2014/03/bobs-birthday-bonanza-cuticle-detective.html

4. Animen- The Galactic Battle: https://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2015/03/bobs-birthday-bash-animen-galactic.html

5. Doggy Poo: https://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2016/03/bobs-birthday-review-doggy-poo.html

6. King of the Ring 1995: https://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2017/03/bobs-birthday-review-king-of-ring-1995.html

Reviews BY Bob

1. Narcosys: http://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2010/07/birthday-special-bob-reviews-narcosys.html

2. Southland Tales (Part 1): http://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2011/07/bob-reviews-southland-tales.html

3. Southland Tales (Part 2): http://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2011/07/bob-has-more-to-say-about-southland.html

4. Melancholia (Bonus): http://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2012/07/bob-reviews-melancholia.html

5. The Saddest Music in the World: http://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2012/07/bob-reviews-saddest-musical-in-world.html

6. Actium Maximus (Bonus): http://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2013/01/extra-review-bob-also-hates-actium.html

7. David Lynch's Inland Empire: http://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2013/07/bob-reviews-inland-empire.html

8. Naked Lunch: http://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2014/07/als-birthday-gift-naked-lunch.html

9. Even Dwarves Started Small: https://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2015/07/als-birthday-celebration-even-dwarfs.html

10. Hard to Be a God: https://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2016/07/als-birthday-celebration-hard-to-be-god.html

11. Freddy Got Fingered: https://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2017/07/als-birthday-review-freddy-got-fingered.html

12. The Time Machine (I Found At A Yard Sale): https://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2017/07/worst-of-worst-time-machine-i-found-at_8.html

Bonus Round- Second Opinions

1. D.C. Sniper (Mondo Bizarro): http://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2014/11/project-terrible-second-opinions-dc.html

2. Star Wrek- In the Pirkinning (Bob): http://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2014/11/project-terrible-second-opinions-star.html

3. The Asylum's Air Collision (Mondo Bizarro): http://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2014/11/project-terrible-second-opinion-air.html

4. AE- Apocalypse Earth (Bob): http://mondobizarrocinema.blogspot.com/2014/11/project-terrible-second-opinions-ae.html