Sunday, January 18, 2015

Heaven or Hell?: Legion (2010)

Ironically, the Star of this Film would appear in the Dan Brown Adaptation that *wasn't* Angels & Demons!  Today's Film is Legion, which I assume is about Blackheart from the end of Ghost Rider.  No?  It's not?  Oh right- the 'I Am Legion' thing is just so terribly-cliche that it appeared in that one.  It's about Jean-Claude Van Damme fighting with the French in the Desert then?  No?  That's Legionnaire- right!  How could I forget that Classic?  This is the 2010 Legion in which Angels try to force the End Times by killing this lady and/or her baby.  No, not Agent 13!  I got this Film as part of a 3-Film Set that never quite syncs up right.  It is Legion, Priest and a Film called Gabriel.  So you have two Paul Bettany Films- both by the same Director- and one without him.  So you have two Films about Angels about Vampires.  Neither way quite works, but I doubt they cared too much.  This one is all about guns, freaky monsters and vaguely-Biblical things.  Should you say 3 Hail Marys after watching this one?  To find out, read on...
An Angel arrives on Earth, cuts off his wings and takes some guns before he goes to Vegas.  We also see that the evil (?) Angels can possess people- since they did that in The Matrix.
This blonde and this Mechanic are concerned.  She is 8 months pregnant with someone else's baby, while he is having weird dreams (the Intro, apparently).  Can their relationship work?
They are all out in a Diner owned by his Dad (Dennis Quaid).  Once we've met all the ancillary Cast, a nice old lady shows up, bites a guys throat and freaks the f#%@ out!
They eventually shoot her down and try to drive for help for the wounded man (since the Phones are out), but run into a cloud of dust and...flies.
Back at the Diner, they are joined by the Angel- Michael- who tells him that the World will end if the baby is killed.

A short time later, things get...freaky.
The only way to save the World- shoot lots of people!  I think Ted Nugent wrote this!
They survive for a bit, but the evil Angels (?) play all sorts of dirty tricks like the old Exploding Husband on a Cross bit.  Classic!
The Mother-to-be is conflicted by this whole thing and has to make a choice: fight for the world or just give up.
Gabriel shows up for the big battle and faces off with Michael.

Will the day be saved or will the Earth be coated in fire?  To find out, watch the Film.  The End.
This is a big, frenetic Film...even if it is a bit silly.  The whole Concept is something that you either accept or you don't.  If you don't, this is just big, loud and ridiculous.  If you do, it is big, loud and kind of fun.  It is weird, freaky monsters attacking people at a Diner with the fate of the world on the line!  It is an Angel with an Assault Rifle shooting a demonic-looking mutant Ice Cream Man (not to be confused with Clint Howard)!  The Effects are good too.  Given that that the Director started out working solely on Special Effects, this should come as no surprise.  They look neat, are well implemented and are also not too distracting.  The Acting is not going to blow you away, but it works well for the Story.  Most of these people feel like fully-fleshed out Characters and you hope that they make it through this alive.  This isn't really high Drama, but they seemed to try.  If they can try, I can too.  As a high-concept Action Film, it works.  As a big-budget spectacle Film, it works.  As a biblically-accurate Drama, it...just no.  You know what you are getting here and it works just fine.  Speaking of work, who took the day off when it came to making the DVD Menu?
Next up, a classic Superhero Film returns in its full glory.  Oh right- this one is regarded as terrible and is now even longer!  Stay tuned...

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