Quick Reviews: I, Frankenstein (2014)

I'm late to the outrage, but since this thing is out on video now, I might as well join in.  As for why I didn't see it in Theaters, well...

I already saw Underworld in Theaters.  Why would I do that again?

In this Comic Adaptation (which I haven't read), Adam is born, buries Victor and is immediately targeted by Demons since, well, he has no soul.  The Angels/Gargoyles protect him for 200 years (time skip!), but he takes care of himself too.

In the Present, the conflict is escalating all the more.  The lead Demon (aka the villain from Underworld) is seeking to make his own Adams, so he needs either Victor's Journal or Adam- but he'll settle for both.

The lead Angel (aka Judy Dench's character from The Chronicles of Riddick) puts it to her top warrior (aka John McClane's son) to keep humanity safe.

Who will win- Demon or Angel?  Will the Story ever rise above copying films like Van Helsing (the cloning plot), Underworld (the tone), Priest (the way the action is shot) and even Underworld: Awakening (evil medical company as the villains)?  Will it be worth two hours to see this cool, Demon guy (which I'm showing you now)?

To find out, watch the movie (if you really want to).

This was...something.  On the plus side, the film was loud, often pretty and full of action.  On the negative side, pretty much everything else.  There are good ideas here- like the creature design-, but they are outweighed by the bad- the Adam design.  As some have said, it is just Aaron Eckhart with a few fake scars on his body.  I know that some design variations are either under Copyright (like the neck bolts) or considered silly, but the way they went was...disappointing.  The Plot is so silly and generic that it just left me time to think of things that I shouldn't.  Did Adam get muscular through training?  If so, how (given that he's made of dead tissue)?  Did Victor just take all of the parts from John Cena, Paul Orndorff and The Ultimate Warrior?  If the story really happened, but the book version also happened does that make this in the same 'Universe' as Frankenstein Unbound?  Should I expect Demons to show up in the Sequel to The Frankenstein Theory (if it ever happens)?  More importantly, let me ask what someone on IMDB asked- do they know what a Gargoyle is?  They call the Angel's alternate form Gargoyles, but they are actually Grotesques (since they don't drain water off of rooftops).  Yes, that is a nerdy thing to point out- thanks.  All joking aside, the Film is a big, bright and loud mess.  The 3-D aspects makes the CG affects look a little goofy in 2-D, another little knock against this (at least on 2-D DVD).  As a weird aside, this Adam looks less like the one from the Comic and more like the one from this comic...

The film is generic as hell, but also flashy and loud.  Decide for yourself which is more important.