Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Leaving Well Enough Alone: Scream 4

Oh just go away, Ghostface!  Today's film is Scream 4, a film that I wasn't exactly hyped for.  To be fair, I've never been a Scream fan.  I've never hated them, mind you, but the series just seemed to not stop during the 1990's.  Of course, it did stop.  Eleven years later, the series came back, because...Wes Craven needed to be relevant, I suppose.  Is there a better reason?  So here we are- a new Scream, but the same Main Cast, Director and Writer.  So it's Scream for a new generation...with the same people that ran it into the ground in the first place.  Isn't it like hiring the Chaffeur who crashed your car to become your Limo Driver?  So what's new here?  Meta, Meta and more Meta.  I like Meta, when it comes naturally.  Here's a quick analogy for you.  Good Meta writing is pointing out something to someone on the street.  Bad Meta writing is taking a guy and twisting his neck to show him something.  It just makes you look annoying and insistent.  Scream 4 features the return of Courtney Cox, David Arquette and Neve Campbell to the Franchise since Cougar Town is barely hanging on, nobody saw The Tripper and being naked on film didn't help at all (respectively).  All you need to know is that Ghostface (the IV) is back to kill people for a silly reason.  To find out a bit of why this shouldn't have been made, read on...
Oh wait- this is the fake out title.  They wasted my time once, but it was for a gag.  Let's properly read on...
Oh come on!  Was that worth it for having Anna Paquin and Kristen Bell in your film?  Now here's the real title, so read on...
Back in Woodsboro, Neve is back to sell her book about not being a victim.  New crimes start to occur, a fact not aided by suspicious evidence placed in her car.

Should I ask the obvious question- why does nobody move out of this murder town?!?
Here's another one- this is Scream for a new Generation, so Ghostface calls people on their iPhones...with a Ghostface Voice App.  My soul hurts writing that.
A bunch of people die.  Here's another gripe: all of the kill scenes have this super-dramatic music to build suspense.  The problem is that I know all of the people are going to die in these scenes.  Where is the drama?
Will Ghostface invade the Stab-athon?  Will teens die?  Will they lamp shade this thing to death before the Third Act?  Yes, no and YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Will Ghostface kill everyone?  Will the film continue to copy scenes from the original while excusing it as 'the killers acting as if they are in a Horror Remake?  Ugh.
All of the deaths seem to revolve around Neve's character.  This kind of makes the results obvious, especially given the whole 'They think that this is a Horror Remake story.'
Oh shit- Neve is actually in peril?!?  This changes everything!
No, not really.  The film sets up a silly, but clever ending...but shits all over it.  It brings to mind the 'Swiss Confrontation' Ending to Opera, only even sillier.

Seriously, who lost their balls here?  For shame.  The End.
Did anyone care?  I'm sorry, but this was really, really unnecessary.  Imagine if someone decided to make a new Saw film in five years?  Now imagine if everyone from the original was back and it became super-Meta.    How excited would you be?  Exactly.  It says something that no further sequels are planned- to my knowledge- but an awkward TV Series spin-off is possibly in the works.  When you can't get a sequel made, make a TV show.  Isn't that right, Zombieland?  The bottom line is that this movie continues to show why not everything can be repeated.  While the film makes a Meta point about being against Modern Horror films, they use CG Knives.  I don't hate them per se (see their use in The Walking Dead), but it shows that they seem to be embracing modern tropes while saying how bad they are.  It's like complaining about Government spending while waving your Food Stamps angrily.  Nothing all that special here.  There's no 'ooh, what have they been up to?' moments.  It's just 'we're making a movie- enjoy.'  I didn't.  There was almost no drama, it's over-Produced and just feels really, really unnecessary.  If you want to complain about Sequels and Remakes being done to death, don't do a pointless Sequel that constantly talks about being a Remake.  You just look like prick.  Kind of like this guy...
Next up, the bizarre ending to the Shaft trilogy.  We've gone from the city to...Africa, apparently.  Stay tuned...

1 comment:

  1. It was better than the horrid third part, but not much. Starts of pretty cool, but ends up lame, implausible and disappointing. The should have killed off the entire cast (especially Dewey).

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