Tuesday, March 5, 2013

'80s Trash?: Sweet Sixteen

An obscure Slasher film- sign me up!  Today's film is Sweet Sixteen, a movie I rented for a dubious reason. You see, thanks to Rifftrax, I watched Mutant a while back.  In the role of the Drunk Sheriff Turned Good is Genre Star Bo Hopkins.  So, naturally, when I read that he also plays a Sheriff in this Slasher film, I was sold.  The film is all about murder in a small, Western town and who is behind it.  However, much more is going on in this film.  The muddled plot could be considered a good thing or a bad thing.  On one hand, the extra 'color' does add to the background of the area.  On the other hand, it's obviously all a distraction for the real reveal.  To find out if it all balances out in the end, read on...
After a bit of build-up, we finally get the first kill...off-camera.

Yeah, this is one of those Mystery Slasher films, so there's not much gore.  Oh well.
Sheriff Bo is on the case!  Unfortunately, so is a wannabe Nancy Drew teen.  Joy.
How does this relate to the local Indian population and Patrick MacNee's Archaeologist?  It doesn't.  At all.
In spite of that, the Natives vs. Native Americans sub-plot continues.  I haven't been this enthralled with Race-Related Filler since the exact same thing was in 1980's Humanoids from the Deep.
How does this all relate to Melissa?  Well, she's the new girl in town and every guy that comes near her seems to end up dead.  Hmm.
To solve this mystery, Sheriff Bo is here- now with the power of Micro Fiche!
Meanwhile, Melissa and another local boy hook up, setting up the box-art shot.  A series of fake-out reveals occur before learn that the killer is...
The crazy mom of Melissa.  Yeah, that...just sort of happened.  All that build-up = pointless.
 A sign of good Screenwriting is when you have to write a scene where two characters literally explain why it all happened.  Don't include the end of Psycho, as that was more for color.

So, yeah, that was a movie.  The End.
Eh, I've seen better.  To be honest, this film doesn't really get any faults for being a 'bad movie.'  It's not.  It's just not all that good of a Slasher film.  Granted, there are many varieties.  Even so, the more Giallo-like films that preceded it- see What Have You Done to Solange?- made a good mix of Mystery, Suspense and Gore.  I will also concede that films like this can work with little to no gore if there is enough of the rest to counter-balance it.  Unfortunately, this film doesn't have that.  It feels like it was a film made as a 'slice of life' story about a town, only to become a Slasher film late in production.  All of the stuff about the town would make a nice enough move on its own.  The problem is that it is forced into this Slasher tale (or vice-versa) and suffers for it.  If you can accept that this is an unevenly-paced film with a kind of abrupt finale, it certainly has its merits.  Like I said, it's not a bad movie.  It's just not my kind of movie.  Well, except for this part...
Next up, a great Import film that I just have to tease you with.  If you like laughs and kicking, you're in luck.  Stay tuned...


  1. SHe's only 15 you dirty boy!

    I read that Dana Kimmel got the part in Friday the 13th 3 because someone saw her in this, but Sweet 16 was supposedly released the year after Friday 3. Maybe it sat on a shelf.

  2. If they don't want me to comment on the topless lady, don't show me the topless lady. Especially when your movie is so lackluster that it stands out so much.

    As for the 'Friday the 13th' rumor, it's not the silliest rumor out there...