Sunday, March 3, 2013

Bark at the Moon: Dark Wolf

Life is just full of coincidences.  Today's film is Dark Wolf, a Horror film that I tracked down after seeing a sample of their crappy CG effects.  The last film I did that for- The Eden Formula.  As it turns out, the film have a link: John Carl Buechler.  For the record, J.C.B. does some good make-up work- he just seems to fail at everything else.  In this film, he only does the make-up work, so he doesn't get much blame here.  Even so, the coincidence is interesting.  So what is Dark Wolf about?  If you really have to guess, then I feel sorry.  It's a Werewolf film, duh!  It's full of weird plot points, silly CG and one of the least competent heroes ever.  To find out more about this cult film, read on...
A Biker (Kane Hodder) is on the run from the Police and flees into a Strip Club.  Pointless Nudity less than 20 seconds into a film- bonus!
As it turns out, he's a super-Werewolf called a Dark Wolf.  He kills the partner- character actor Steven Williams- and runs off into the night.  This leads to the arrival of Exposition Character in the form of...
Tippi Hedren?  Seriously- I didn't plan this!  Stop showing up in these movies, please!

As it turns out, she's an ancient Werewolf- of course- who is guarding our heroine, the lady/wolf destined to possibly mate with the Dark Wolf (who's a Hybrid Prince) and doom humanity.  Sex kills, kids!
She begins to figure out that's something weird.  Either she's got a serious hangover or she's a Werewolf.

Oh and these Werewolves can change at will during the Full Moon and change back.  So much for strobe lights or holding the neck skin of a killer!
The Werewolf goes on a killing spree, which gives us brief moments to see J.C.B.'s neat suit/make-up work.

My favorite: him killing the new partner in her Hospital Room while simply hiding in the corner.  Werewolf Kane Hodder is undetectable from two feet away in slight darkness?  Bull and shit, movie.
In a weird plot point, Hedren's Deus Ex Machina Book of Werewolf Secrets ends up in the hands of the heroine's best friend/model.  Her boyfriend sees it and is inspired to...make a Werewolf fashion shoot on his roof.  I shit you not!!!
So why is Dark Wolf infamous?  Well, late in the movie, they start doing on-screen transformations.  It leads to crap like this...
...and this.  I love how they write around their lead not being wiling to do nudity by just making her naked as a CG model.
Sparing you a lot of talking and cop deaths, they finally shoot the creature in the eye, since that's all that will kill it.  It dies, boyfriend makes a bad joke and everyone leaves.  Oh and sequel-bait.  The End.
It's bad enough to make you howl!  In all honesty, Dark Wolf is a fun, but confusing movie.  The lore is strange and ridiculous.  There are Werewolves and there are Hybrid Werewolves- the children of men and Werewolves.  That sounds painful and gross.  They explain this to the new Partner, who is literally wounded to near-death not two scenes later.  She's not dead, however, as they have to kill her somewhere else in a later scene.  What was the point of that?  Was it to not upstage Tippi's scene or to set up some silly Plot Point involving the Dark Wolf tracking those who smell like the lady?  Either way, it feels really, really silly.  Speaking of silly, those CG effects are embarrassing by Asylum standards.  They look like the ones you'd see in the late '90s when Studios realized that they could do on-camera effects via CG.  This film came out in 2003.  It's not like big-budget films around this time didn't use bad CG too- e.c. Van Helsing- but this is still worse.  If this film were more focused and didn't get distracted by sub-plots involving *sigh* Werewolf-themed photo shoots, it would be easier to recommend as a 'so bad it's good movie.'  As it is, you have to be a bit more patient, but I think it's worth it for the silly CG action and plot.
Up next, an obscure slasher film with a polished-up release on DVD.  Will the star of Mutant be a better Sheriff here?

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