Yo, Adrian- why is this movie so boring? Today's film is Nemesis Game, a film that I only reviewed for a really silly and pointless reason. You see, the poster is a blatant rip-off of The X-Files' famous box art. It's a little less direct than The Vector File, but still pretty bad. Given my tenuous interest in the movie, you'll be shocked to know that I didn't much care for it. Who'd have thunk it?!? The plot involves a young lady working her way into the underground world of *sigh* mysterious riddles place in the sewers/streets. Yea. That's totally doing a lot to sell me on the movie, now! Aside from Paul, the movie features Ian McShane, although he doesn't exactly do much here. While you already know how I feel, here's your chance to decide for yourself...
The film begins In Media Res with a Cop (McShane of Kung-Fu Panda fame) questioning a woman about 'what she did.' Once they think it's dramatic enough, we cut back to two weeks earlier...
Our heroine is a young woman who has a friend (Paul) that works in a Record Store (remember those?) and...looks very weird.
He takes her deep in the world of Underground Riddle-Solving, which only sounds sillier the more I say it out loud.
Seconds later, a mysterious man shows up and chases her out the door. We flash-Edit to reveal...that he was a Janitor. Dun dun lame!
Yes, I know that stuff eventually happens- I just don't care. I really tried to care, but I couldn't. The movie moves at a snail's pace, which is not helped by the In Media Res intro. It's not a bad intro, but it does take time away from the actual plot. More of the film's run-time is spent making it look 'cool.' Scenes set in an Indy Record Store- check. Weird flash montage of random imagery set to rock music- check. Adrian Paul with frosted hair- weird check! In spite of the recognizable actors (even Knocked Up's Jay Baruchel is here), this movie is just dull. I tried, tried, tried to care, but I couldn't get no satisfaction. If you want to watch it for yourself, be my guest. Take us away, Adrian...Paul...
Next up, I finally get around to Adrian Paul's Back-door Pilot about Aliens. With his record, who knows what I'll get! Stay tuned...
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About an hour into the movie, she goes into a Subway Station- mind the mass suicides and Japanese guys being run over- and finds a laptop in a back area. It plays a random flash of images and...that's it.
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If that's all you've got movie, I think that I can safely quit now. The End.
Next up, I finally get around to Adrian Paul's Back-door Pilot about Aliens. With his record, who knows what I'll get! Stay tuned...
Adrian Paul with frosted hair is just...wrong, somehow. O_O
ReplyDeleteWhy do I feel like you're going to hand this one to me at some point? Oh, well. If you do it's probably better than something else I would have gotten. :-P