Tuesday, August 7, 2012

(Delayed) Adrian Paul Week: Nemesis Game

Yo, Adrian- why is this movie so boring?  Today's film is Nemesis Game, a film that I only reviewed for a really silly and pointless reason.  You see, the poster is a blatant rip-off of The X-Files' famous box art.  It's a little less direct than The Vector File, but still pretty bad.  Given my tenuous interest in the movie, you'll be shocked to know that I didn't much care for it.  Who'd have thunk it?!?  The plot involves a young lady working her way into the underground world of *sigh* mysterious riddles place in the sewers/streets.  Yea.  That's totally doing a lot to sell me on the movie, now!  Aside from Paul, the movie features Ian McShane, although he doesn't exactly do much here.  While you already know how I feel, here's your chance to decide for yourself...
The film begins In Media Res with a Cop (McShane of Kung-Fu Panda fame) questioning a woman about 'what she did.'  Once they think it's dramatic enough, we cut back to two weeks earlier...
Our heroine is a young woman who has a friend (Paul) that works in a Record Store (remember those?) and...looks very weird.
He takes her deep in the world of Underground Riddle-Solving, which only sounds sillier the more I say it out loud.
About an hour into the movie, she goes into a Subway Station- mind the mass suicides and Japanese guys being run over- and finds a laptop in a back area.  It plays a random flash of images and...that's it.
Seconds later, a mysterious man shows up and chases her out the door.  We flash-Edit to reveal...that he was a Janitor.  Dun dun lame!
If that's all you've got movie, I think that I can safely quit now.  The End.
Yes, I know that stuff eventually happens- I just don't care.  I really tried to care, but I couldn't.  The movie moves at a snail's pace, which is not helped by the In Media Res intro.  It's not a bad intro, but it does take time away from the actual plot.  More of the film's run-time is spent making it look 'cool.'  Scenes set in an Indy Record Store- check.  Weird flash montage of random imagery set to rock music- check.  Adrian Paul with frosted hair- weird check!  In spite of the recognizable actors (even Knocked Up's Jay Baruchel is here), this movie is just dull.  I tried, tried, tried to care, but I couldn't get no satisfaction.  If you want to watch it for yourself, be my guest.  Take us away, Adrian...Paul...

Next up, I finally get around to Adrian Paul's Back-door Pilot about Aliens.  With his record, who knows what I'll get!  Stay tuned...

1 comment:

  1. Adrian Paul with frosted hair is just...wrong, somehow. O_O

    Why do I feel like you're going to hand this one to me at some point? Oh, well. If you do it's probably better than something else I would have gotten. :-P