Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Project Terrible: Ring Around the Rosie

As much as some people may want it to, Project Terrible is back!  I'll get the ball going first this time, since everyone else is just cowering in their homes.  I'll be the man here, Internet!  To start things off, here's the movie sent to me by Maynard Morrisey (of the titular horror blog).  I actually watched this about a month ago, as I didn't feel like wasting a Disc on this film.  It's a good thing too, since the movie is a pretty-blatant rip-off of a well-regarded movie.  That movie- A Tale of Two Sisters.  If you liked the movie, but felt that the plot needed to be less interesting, feature worse acting and feel really pointless, you're in for a great time.  Now off of Streaming, this movie is a harder sell than ever.  To find out if the movie is terrible or Terrible, you'll have to keep reading.  To find out why the film is not actually called Ring Around the Rosie, read on...
Right off the bat, the movie tries to warn you.  It's your fault if you don't listen.
The film begins with some random dreams and the only time that someone actually says 'Ring Around the Rosie.'  After that, we get to attend the saddest funeral ever...
Since the movie features no real suspense or scares for quite a while, here's a deer that's left lying in the road. Enjoy.
Creepy imagery = an excuse for having no real plot.
Our heroine freaks out a bit in the house, due to all of the random ghost filler.  She manages to make herself fall out a window, only to be caught by Tom Sizemore.  Given the twist ending, this will seem really silly.
Things get slightly-more tense when our heroine's fiance leaves and her sister shows up.  Can you see where this is going?  Can you believe that the Producers thought that this would not be noticeable?
After a long climax involving our heroines try to take down/run away from Sizemore, they survive the night.  The fiance shows up and...says that her sister has been dead for 17 years.  So what actually happened then?
This random shot from the ending is supposed to explain everything.  Does it?  No.  The End.
I'd like it better if it was foreign.  I was really, really disappointed with this movie.  I hesitate to call it worthless, because it's not.  However, it's value is also pretty hard to determine.  Confused?  This movie has some decent moments to it and seems like it is building up to a neat twist.  Alas, that does not happen.  While you get a twist, I was hoping for something like 'Sizemore is not actually the villain' or something along those lines.  From the get-go, it's pretty clear that his character is up to no good.  All things considered, that's why you hire a guy like Sizemore for this role.  A creative mind can use casting to their advantage and play with audience expectations.  They don't do that.  More than the slow pacing, the movie's climax and resolution ruin the whole thing.  I just think back about the movie and picture the lady just staring at the ceiling.  That's not the image you want for a suspense film!  It's about the journey, not the destination, some people will say.  It's a pretty slow, tedious journey, but it's certainly better than the destination.  For all Sizemore's work to look scary, I can just think of this...
Next up, my film courtesy of The Girl Who Loves Horror.  It's not a good day to be named Katie.  Stay tuned...

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