Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Japanese New Year: Killer Bees (2000)

I'll avoid the obvious Internet Meme for as long as possible.  When I found this movie, I thought 'No big deal.'  There are at least a dozen Syfy Channel films about killer insects, including Deadly Swarm, The Hive and Mansquito.  When I realized that it was from Japan, my curiosity was peaked.  It's rare that they get into films like that, opting instead to make movies about people with crocodile torsos biting off a guy's junk, causing it to grow back as a gun.  Nice country, huh?  So what is this movie about?  Obviously, it's about killer bees attacking, but there is much more going on here.  Nah, I'm just kidding- it's just about bees.  The characters are about as stock as they get in Japan and there is a lot of running away.  Can I pad that out into a full review?  To find out, read on...
These lovely, young ladies are going off on a field trip as part of the Japanese equivalent of the Girl Scouts.  I guess there is no cut-off age there, huh?
One of them wanders off and picks a flower.  She looks around like she is about to rob a Jewelry Store or something.  What's the big...this is why the bees kill everyone, isn't it?  That's...sad.
Fun fact: bee stings can make giant, silly-looking welts all over your body.  The movie does address this...but never actually explains it.  Might want to do more blending work on the make-up next time, guys.
They run away from the bees.  This actually makes up the plot summary for at least 60% of the movie.
When the cast has been whittled down to two, the pair jump into a river to escape.  One of them still dies, however.  Have I mentioned that this movie is really downbeat yet?
The Final Girl- even in Japan!- makes it to a car full of tourists and escapes...except for that cloud of killer bees chasing her.  Way to get them killed too, bitch!  The End.
Yet again, I begin the new year with a disappointing Japanese film.  Last year, it was Assault Girls, a film that made Japanese women shooting Sand Worms boring!  This year, it's a film that promises me mutated killer bees that make people explode when they're stung.  How can you promise me that and not deliver?!?  This movie is dreadfully-boring, which is sad for me to say.  Evidently, the fear of Africanized (is that even a word?) Killer Bees made it over to Japan, thus spawning this movie.  This looks and feels like a TV movie, even going so far as to have the DVD with no Menu.  Remember those DVDs from 1995 that were just straight VHS Rips with no Menus?  Yeah, they still make those!  I wish that I could put a positive spin on this movie.  I could say that some of the Special Effects look decent, but that's about it.  The characters are stupid, the plot is unexplained and the movie is incredibly maudlin.  I'll leave you with the one, decent shot of the movie...
Next up, a movie about killer fish.  I guess it was either that or a movie about dolphins getting revenge on them!  Stay tuned...

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