Friday, January 13, 2012

Moon Over Miami: Demonic Toys 2

After nearly twenty years, who still wants to play with those things?  Where was the demand for a second Demonic Toys film?  I don't know about you, but I saw the last two crossover films and those were pretty lame.  Let's try to approach it with a fresh outlook though.  This is not a sequel to an average movie, but a brand new Full Moon.  This is probably still not going to be good.  This film takes places X years later and features a rich guy looking for another doll.  Given the series' penchant for introducing new dolls for one film and never bringing them back, I'm sure this doll has a bright future ahead of it!  As I mentioned in a previous review, the film connects to another Full Moon film- Hideous.  Did anyone- other than Carl (ILHM) see this one?  It came out in 1997 and is currently O.O.P. on Netflix.  Was I supposed to track that down before watching this one?  Yeah, I'm not doing that.  To find out how much sillier this can get, read on...
In the movie's opening, a random person puts the toys back together.  Not the Bear, of course, since that thing was cool and too expensive to make again.
This man is apparently the rich guy from Hideous.  He dies in that movie, but screw that noise.  Nice face.
I'm amazed that I missed this shitty green screen shot when I first saw it.  I mean, wow.   Sure brings back memories...
This is Divoletto, an old toy that looks demonic.  The thing looks neat, but doesn't talk and serves to just sort of ape what the baby doll does.  Those whirring noises get old too.
Remember how the original film involved a demon using the toys as part of his plan?  Well, this film kind of does that...but the evil lady also takes over a woman...who the toys then try to kill.  Confused?
Character actor Leslie Jordan is here to act like Truman Capote and get killed.  Bonus points for ripping off the death from Final Destination 3.  Sad.
The movie gets all 'Holy Shit- What the Hell is that?!?' in the end when a Demon crawls out of a well.  This doesn't end with two kids fighting?  Gasp!
Unfortunately, the Toys are killed within seconds during the final fight.  They get their heads put in a box...since you'd want to keep the toys that killed five people.  The End.
Go ahead and close that toy chest.  I wanted to like this movie.  Granted, every other Demonic Toys film I'd seen before was not good.  I should also mention that I watched this one first, since Full Moon is not huge on continuity anyhow.  To further illustrate my indifference to this movie, I watched on the same night as Evil Bong 2: King Bong...and fell asleep after forty-odd minutes.  I finished the movie the next day, but the damage was done.  Here's the problem: the Toys are just out-shined by everything else in the film.  The movie has about six major things going on simultaneously, as opposed to focusing on the battle between the Toys and our heroes.  No, we get sub-plots like Final Guy likes Final Girl, Midget Psychic talks to a spirit and Gold-Digging Wife is having an Affair with a Cowboy.  Yes, a Cowboy.  These Toys are just kind of there, even with Full Moon getting a very-minor celebrity to voice the baby doll (who I refuse to name).  These characters are Supporting Actors in their own film.  The movie is full of silly moments, including a bit where the Demon crawling out of the well makes 'stone blocks' bend by leaning on them.  When a film can't even put their own sub-title on the opening scene, I just have to make this face...
Next up, something completely different.  It's Full Moon's foray into all-ages entertainment...but it's really Doctor Who.  Stay tuned...

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