Thursday, September 15, 2011

Project Terrible: Mummy Maniac

This is the epitome of Terrible!  Do you like serial killer films with no plot other than murder?  Do you like movies that are redundant?  Do you like movies that are redundant?  Do you like...yeah, you got it.  This movie has a plot, but it's kind of insulting to the word 'plot.'  Here's the summary- a crazy guy kidnaps and kills women.  That's 90 minutes worth of material, right?  The movie is basically a mix of Psycho and Maniac, with a misleading title thrown in for extra fun.  If you like Maniac, you'll hate this shit.  The film hurts a lot- I won't lie.  Prepare for the worst as we attempt to unravel the...
The opening scene is essentially an inverse of Psycho.  Kid kills stepdad and mom covers it up.  Of course, it's shot like shit and slash-edited to pieces!  Get ready for the worst part- the movie literally telling you that it's a lie!
After that, this is the plot: guy grabs girl from street (usually not shown, since outdoor permits are expensive), takes her to his storage depot and kills her...eventually.
You may note that the following screenshot looks similar.  It does.  It's different, however, since it's a different woman.
This one may also look similar, but, again, it's a different woman.
Oh wait- I've got more.  This one is also a different woman.
Have I made my point yet?  I fast-forwarded to The End to see if there's any good resolution to this, but there is not.  The End.
This is Terrible, Terrible, Terrible!  The plot of this movie is just a semblance of the same scene done ad nauseum.  Guy takes woman to room, teases the idea of torturing her for a while and kills her.  Between that, we get ridiculous filler the likes of which haven't been seen since iMurders.  In fact, the killer even has a therapist here, not like he does a lot of good.  This film is just a mess for a number of reasons.  The acting is either terrible (the lead) or too realistic (the women).  They often portray genuine fear and terror, contrasting the lead's poor delivery.  It's like this is some sort of weird, Uta Hagen exercise gone awry!  It's just dull and full of no surprises.  Will he kill the fifth woman he brings back to his lair?  I'm going to go out on a limb and say 'yes!'  There's not even that much gore, so all of you torture porn fans will feel left out.  It's just a bad rip-off of Maniac with a misleading title.  Yes, I'm still not over that shit!  It's worse than 7 Mummies having a bunch of zombies!  I'll leave you with the only two redeeming parts of the film (which appear for about 5 seconds)...
Next up, all of my mocking of Ulli Lommel comes to a head as I review his Black Dahlia.  His film is less 'Hollywood Noir' and more 'Torture Porn.'  Stay tuned...

2 comments:

  1. A few quotes from IMDB reviews:

    "Dreck! Crap! Steaming pile of you know what!!!"

    "Bravo. Finally a movie that is worse than Cheerleader Ninjas."

    "Have you seen a porn movie script? Ok, this is the same, without the porn."

    "There was a time when I had a case of food poisoning and was up half the night, liquidy substances exploding out of either end of my body. That was more fun than watching Mummy Maniac."

    "I for one can not wait for this to come out on Blu-Ray or Mummy Maniac 2."

    :-D

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  2. HA HA I MAKE YOU LIFE MISERABLE!

    They shouldn't even bother to hide her face. Just hire one actress, kill her, throw a wig on her, kill her again, etc., even though it's obvious that she's the same person. That would actually be slightly amusing.

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