A film that nearly got to be Terrible. I actually tried to get Maynard Morrisey (of the titular Horror Diary) to review this for Project Terrible, but it's apparently not available in Europe. Damn you, Region codes! Why would I want him to do this film? Well, you see, this isn't a movie- it's three movies. Full Moon has made a few head-ways into the 'Urban' (read: black) market over the years. Aside from the Killjoy films (future reviews if the discs come back into print), they've only made a few. Conveniently enough, three of them- The Horrible Dr. Bones, The Vault and Ragdoll- are compressed into this 90-minute film. Yeah, this is a horror compilation of three film that they already made, but cut down into thirty-minutes each! On the plus side, two of them are Out-of-Print on Netflix, so it does save me the effort. What- it's not like I was going to buy them! It's a three-course dinner of crap from Full Moon, so let's dig into...
The first 'section' is the remix of Dr. Bones. Ironically, they rip-off their own film title to get this one...
Even cut down by 1/3, the filler is still here. Essentially, a producer- the title character- is getting a bunch of acts together. Do we need to see them each perform? Apparently, yes.
Shock of all shocks, the guy is evil and using the music as part of some voodoo spell. Kudos on the make-up work, but everything else looks cheap.
Next up, it's the cut-down version of the Vault. To see how I feel about it, just read the review of the full film here.
Finally, we reach Ragdoll. It's essentially the 'black version' of Puppet Master. This also involves voodoo, making it appear that Full Moon thinks that black people are only interested in rap, voodoo and the subject of slavery. Yikes!
The doll- which appears to be the doll version of Aunt Jemima- goes around killing people because of some voodoo ritual. It's all pretty silly and I really only have more to say if and when I can see the full version. The way they cut the plot down makes it pretty hard to follow!
It's three times the confusion! The plots of these movies are not that bad, but the dramatic Editing hurts them a lot. I can't compare the full plots of Ragdoll and The Horrible Dr. Bones, but I can do it with The Vault. A lot of key points are chopped up or just removed entirely. I just don't see why they tried to do this. If you wanted to re-release the films under the 'Urban Evil' brand, why not just do a DVD set? It's not like you don't have sets for Trancers, Puppet Master, Subspecies, Evil Bong and even the goddamn Gingerdead Man films. Hell, you have a box set of the softcore porn films that you've released! The bottom line: when you have enough Box Sets to have a 'Box Sets' tab on your website, you can afford another one. This one is easy to avoid, since it makes Full Moon plots seem even worse than usual. This shot expresses how I feel...
Up next, a man, a robot, Bill Moseley. If you want to see a film that teases something big and never really delivers, you're in luck! Stay tuned...
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