It's tough to be alone on Valentine's Day. Fortunately, I have my giant Netflix Queue and DVD Collection to keep me company. I hear that my Queue may pop the question tonight- it's been five and a half years, so it's time. So what is the movie chosen for this day of greeting cards, needless jewelry and fancy dinners? It's a story about love- Crazy Love. Based loosely on the works on Charles Bukowski, this film is all about love and how it can go horribly-awry. It comes to us from Belgium, which I guess is another Country off of my Bucket List. The film is a three-Chapter look at the life of Harry Voss, showing three key days in his life. The tricky thing is that this film- in traditional European fashion- was actually constructed backwards. The filmmakers made a thirty-minute film called Foggy Night, based on a tale by Bukowski called The Copulating Mermaid of Venice, California. When they wanted to make a full film, they released that they had to stretch things out, so they added the first two Chapters to fill it out. Those Chapters aren't implicitly based on Bukowski stories, but take inspiration from his other works. With all that complication out of the way, let's dive right into this Mondo Macabro release...
As a young boy, Harry Vos Age 12 (inside joke) sees a romantic movie and assumes that life must be like that.
Thankfully (I think), his pervy best friend- who appears to be the Belgian Sam Rockwell- is here to show Harry the ropes. After a few failed attempts to let him see people have sex, he decides...
...that Harry Voss Age 12 should just rape this lady from the Fair in her drunken stupor. No, really. This too is taken from him (darn?) and he's taught a different lesson from his friend: how to do stuff on your own.
Cut to Harry Voss Age 17 (not as funny, so I'll drop it) and he has some serious Acne. Will he be able to find love?
After being rejected by the girl of his lust, he is given a chance for sloppy seconds by his friend. Um, yea?
Unfortunately (I think), she backs out and, dejected, he wraps his face in toilet paper to get one dance with the other girl. His drunk ass is still unhappy and this segment ends with him being arrested.
Cut to Harry Voss at age 33 and he's...well, just look at him. Time has not been on his side, as they say.
Getting drunk with his friend, the pair decide to...steal a corpse. Gee, I can't imagine why this film was controversial during its U.S. release.
After fantasizing about the corpse, depressed Harry will never find love and walks into the Ocean with the corpse, committing suicide (or becoming Aquaman). The End.
Love is blind, deaf and kind of creepy. This film is really not bad, but it's definitely an acquired taste. The whole film is bleak and unpleasant. The people are not friendly and you really wouldn't want to know them. The story is just about how dark and depressing life can be. The first segment is about how life isn't as romantic as we think as children. The second segment is about how people can be so vain as to ruin other people's lives. The third segment is about, well, a man who seeks one last shot at love via a corpse. So yeah, fun stuff. That said, the movie is well-made and I can't really complain about the actual production. The big thing is just that this movie is amazingly-bleak and very European. That said, compared to stuff like Star of David: Hunting for Beautiful Girls, it's freaking Romeo & Juliet. I really peaked with that one. Take us away, Belgian Madonna...
Next up, an infamous comedy written by two great Comedians and featuring numerous legends. You won't believe just how they messed this up. Stay tuned...
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