Evil, Evil Baby: 666- The Demon Child

The devil is within the details…just not in this movie. Today’s film is 666: The Demon Child. Long ago, I referenced this film and was warned against its terrible nature. Well, it’s me we’re talking about, so I saw it all the same. This actually came out before the Remake of The Omen in 2006, so it’s not a rip-off. Instead, it’s a bizarre and stupid movie about a killer demon baby. Let’s get right to the anger for the get-go. This movie is poorly-shot, poorly-lit and features the most annoying monster noise ever. In a recent Rifftrax release, a Christmas short featured a dissonant Accordion noise for one character as they walked. This is worse. I’ll get into it in more detail in the actual review, but, trust me, you’ll agree. The film involves a demon baby- who hatches from an egg- causing havoc for a team of ‘experts’ and ‘scientists’ who couldn't decipher a Rubix Cube!  This movie even has the terrible notoriety to appear in another bad movie- Ancient Evil 2: Guardian of the Underworld.  If you want to see just how much this can fail, read on...

The introductory scene of this film goes on FOREVER as a man walks through the Desert to a mysterious location in practically real time.  I haven't seen padding like this since Birdemic!

 Using some sort of magic, he breaks a magical seal and reveals a clutch of giant Eggs.  This is about giant chickens now?  I wish, but no.

 Unfortunately, while disposing of the Eggs (which were locked up- I'm just saying), he runs afoul of a car driven by our 'heroes' and...someone gets run over in a way completely opposite to how it was set up.

Seriously, how does he do this?!?

Since they just killed the guy, they might as well take his giant Egg and study it.  What's the worst thing that could happen?

Oh right- killer demon baby.  I should have seen that coming, huh?  That was my second guess.

With the crew being picked off by the baby- no, really-, the group sends one of their own out to get help.  They pick...the 76 year-old man?  You...you deserve the deaths you have coming, idiots!

Oh and despite being dead-tired and nearly dehydrated, the guy manages to dig a grave, dump a 200-lb body in it, close it and cover it in rocks.  You...you could have jogged the whole way there with that much energy, dumb-ass!

Here's a way to kill your climax: shoot it at night and use 'natural lighting.'  Thank God for HD-TVs, huh? 

Our heroine kills the baby- after it's annoying triple-cry noise is heard 1,000,003 times- and goes to the other Indian guy, who's evil.

There are two Indians here- one evil and one good.  Thanks, lazy writing!

 She confronts the guy, who leads her to a Cave full of Eggs.  This means that the Earth is doomed to be overrun by 12-foot Demon Warriors.  I'd watch that movie...so that's The End.

You made a movie about a killer Demon Baby boring and tedious.  How does someone do that?  You do it by making the film about bland Characters that don't do all that much.  You do it by making the people so dumb that they bring their own deaths upon them.  Yes, stay in the RV after the Demon Baby clearly broke in to kill that lady in the shower!  You do it by making your Demon Baby a cheap-looking puppet that's shot almost entirely in the dark.  You do it by giving the Demon Baby a 'roar' that consists of three over-lapping babies crying.  Seriously, just check this clip (specifically about 3 minutes in when the Baby starts its P.O.V. chase) and imagine hearing that for half the film.  This is one of the few times that I actually wish for CG in a film.  Given this film's budget, I'm sure that it would look like shit.  I would at least be able to get a good laugh out of this.  Instead, it's 80% P.O.V. shots (in the dark) and 20% shots of people rubbing a puppet awkwardly on themselves.  Ultimately, this is a super low-budget tease of a bigger, better movie.  You can't tell me about giant, Demon Warriors who once ruled the Earth and give me a single, Demon Baby instead.  Imagine if they made a Godzilla film about a newborn baby Godzilla attacking people  in the Forest.  Would you see that?  I would, but I've watched Hobgoblins 2.  This movie...is a movie.  That's really all that I can say.  This is how happy I am to have seen this movie.

Up next, I try to finish Project Terrible with my own dose of Troma films.  Annoying people in a confusing plot for the win!  Stay tuned...