New Import Flix: Sifu vs. Vampire (2014)

Almost as crazy as something that came out of Japan.  Today's Film is Sifu vs. Vampire, a 2014 Horror-Comedy from China that is pretty damn weird.  The Film appears to be an attempt to do a modern version of one of those Taoist Priest vs. Vampires Films that were big (in China) in the 1980s.  In this one, some would-be-gangsters end up caught up in a conflict between two Masters, a Mob Boss and a Vampire.  It is wacky.  It is really wacky.  It is relentlessly-wacky.  The thing couldn't be more tongue in cheek if I could taste the air on my tongue with my mouth closed!  It appears to have some real money and Production Values behind it, so it looks the part.  Is it one big, bad joke or something worth checking out?  To find out (without SPOILERS), read on...

These are our Heroes.  They are bad people...but act funny, so root for them?

They are also Master Pick-Up Artists.  I mean, check out these winning lines...

A conflict with their Boss brings in a Master of the Taoist Arts and, well, this line.

Since this Film is like 60% Plot and 40 Wacky Bits, let me focus on some of those.  For example, this person who clearly didn't watch the same Film that we did...

The Boss needs to re-bury his Grandfather, since he became a Vampire and is prophesied to doom humanity in about a week.

My bigger issue: why does this guy have THREE COPIES of 'Cinderella' and TWO COPIES of 'Home'- all within a 4-foot radius?!?

He later becomes a Vampire, proving that there is one thing worse than a Movie Producer/Mobster!

As the Vampire Army grows and threatens...well, a small part of Hong Kong, the made-up Film manages to change Titles.

With a powerful Vampire on the loose and preparing to doom us all, can our Heroes stop it?  The End.

Almost too silly for its own good.  It is hard to balance Horror Comedies out, you know.  In this case, they constantly throw silly shit at you, but also want you to feel like there is peril.  See the problem?  You can't realistically give me a Sad Ghost Girl Sub-Plot and then a Scene where the Heroes wait outside to throw poop at a Taoist Master.  It feels weird, you know.  There are some good Gags and Set Pieces here, so it is not like this is a total failure.  Someone clearly put some work into this...but it is just so loud and insistent.  If you connect with the Humor more, this won't be a problem for you.  You'll think that I'm just some dick who didn't get the jokes.  If you like MUCH more Comedy than Horror, this one is right up your alley.  If nothing else, the Film not only manages to date itself by year, but the exact day in which one Scene takes place...

Next up, more new Flix to keep me saying the word SPOILERS.  Before Tarantino's Film, what other Western could 'Snake' be in?  Stay tuned...