Saturday, January 26, 2013

Wackumentary: Cane Toads- An Unnatural History

How have I ignored this film for so long?  Cane Toads: An Unnatural History is a wacky Documentary from the '80's that has lasted as a Cult Film for years.  You haven't seen it?  What's the matter with you?!?  Go see it already- I'll be here.  After all, I am static text on a screen.  You could leave at any time and I'd have no idea.  Oh God, I'm sooo alone!!!!  Anyhow, this Documentary is about how the infamous Cane Toad has permeated the Queensland area over the last several Decades and done irreparable harm.  Rather than being a dour film a la An Inconvenient Truth (as referenced in Birdemic), this is a bizarre and wacky tale.  It's funnier and freakier than it has any right to be.  Part of why it works so well is that I don't think that they were trying to be funny- they just are.  Since it's a Documentary with a minor narrative structure, this won't be a normal review.  Think of this is a Best of Sampler/Teaser for the film proper.  Seriously, go see it.  OBEY ME!  Read on...
In a lovely little burg called Queensland, Australia, the Cane Toad is practically King.  A big, ugly, poison-emitting King, mind you.
 Some people don't like them too much.  For example, this guy swerves to and fro across the road to run over as many as possible.  Sorry, PETA!
 Not everyone hates them.  Cute kid.  Ugly toad.  I smell a sitcom!

Tanya and the Toad will be back after these Commercials!
...and we're back.  We're back just in time a Cane Toad hump a dead female toad in the middle of the road.  Hey player, don't let your partner having her upper half as roadkill put a kibosh on your romance!
As you can see, the toads were aplenty back in the old days.  The plan was to have them kill some bugs that were ruining the crops.  Let's just say that it didn't work out.
 In one of my favorite bits, this guy gets interviewed in his garden and talks about how he loves the cane toads.  He's so deadpan about it that he really appears to be saying it under duress.

Please help him- the cane toads have a gun!
I leave you with this one lasting message: once a cane toad grabs you, they never let go.  Watch your backs! The End.
Seriously, go see this movie already!  Cane Toads is a freaky and funny film about Nature.  Even if you don't watch Nature Documentaries all that much (like me), you need to see this.  It's still on Netflix after all of this time, so don't be left out.  The Director has gone on to make a bunch of Nature Documentaries and eventually made a follow-up to this film- Cane Toads: The Conquest- in 3-D, no less!  It's hard to truly explain why this film is so great...which is why it's so great.  That make sense?  It has so many bizarre intangibles that I just love it.  All of the Interviews, for example, are done directly into camera.  All of the people are wacky in their own sort of way.  My favorite is, of course, the guy who appears to be held hostage by the cane toads, but you'll pick out your own.  Not to repeat myself too much, but go see this movie.  After you do, you'll sound just like me and say this to all of your friends.  Do it now before the cane toads get you.  Oh my God- they're outside your house!
Up next, I celebrate 2,000 posts with a film so bad that I wouldn't subject anyone else to it.  After such 'gems' as Traces of Death and Men Behind The Sun 4, what could possibly be the film?  Stay tuned...

1 comment:

  1. Aw dude, I love Cane Toads! Not boiling them down and drinking the fluid for psychedelic effects or anything, ;), but they sure are damn cute! Can't wait for to see the new movie.