You're going to have to do better than that, Maynard! Today's film is Cathy's Curse, an obscure 1978 movie courtesy of Maynard Morrisey (of his titular Horror Diary). The print of this film comes from a website called Archive.org and appears to be what happens when you rip a VHS copy to a WORSE VHS tape & THEN put it online. I can see why he gave it to me. You see, last Round I gave him a movie called The Bermuda Triangle. Bob can attest to how bad this movie is, as he watched with me- only we had the benefit of Rifftrax to make it more bearable. In that film (made in 1978), the main villain is a little girl who finds an old doll and uses her new powers for evil. In the movie (also made in 1978), the main villain is Cathy, a little girl who gets an old doll and uses her new powers for evil. That is quite the similarity, right? Thought you'd give me a taste of my own medicine, huh? Well, unfortunately for you, Curse is not nearly as bad as Triangle. For one thing, it doesn't have a ten-minute scene of scuba-diving and shark-killing that serves no purpose. It's still kind of shit, but it has enough moments that made me laugh (for all of the wrong reasons) to make me not really hate it all that much. It's just an inept film that has not been well-preserved. To see if your definition of Terrible is different from mine, read on...
After an awkwardly-placed Card tells us that the Mother left with one daughter while the husband was away, the film tells us that exact thing. Thanks, repetition repetition.
Driving off with his daughter Cathy, the guy gets in a car crash while avoiding an animal. Damn you, animals!
Thankfully the Cards only show up a couple more times. Seriously, I'm supposed to read this?!?
Years later at the new house, Cathy wanders into the Attic, only to get possessed by the evil spirit of her Aunt. This is why you give those away to Goodwill! Let some other family get possessed- screw 'em.
Being possessed by an evil spirit gives you the ability telekinesis and the ability to blow up vases. That's...good for you, honey.
Using her doll- a key part of the possession, apparently- she begins to kill people, scare others off or make her mother go crazy. Still better than those evil Teddy Ruxpin dolls!
Whenever the spirit uses its powers, the painting's eyes light up. Thanks, random bulbs behind the painting!
As the climax nears, the body count rises and the father FINALLY figures out what's going on. I suppose if I saw a little girl with a Freddy Kreuger face, I'd take the hint.
In a surprisingly-easy Climax, the Mother pulls the doll's eyes out, which manages to kill it and undo the curse. Yippee! Hurray! Hurray Beer! The End.
I've watched worse movies intentionally. The plot of this movie is silly and is mostly explained to us at the beginnings. Seriously, that Card tells us that the Mother ran off. I'd complain about that idea alone, but then they have the little girl say it too. This is why dissolves were created, guys! Obviously, the film's biggest problem is the print. Granted- I can't blame the filmmakers for what happened to the finished product over the last thirty-odd years. That said....wow, this one looks bad. The only film that I can think of with a worse print is probably The Dragon Lives Again. At least that film wasn't permanently-brown though. Hell, the print that looks the most like this is Nosferatu- a film made in 1929! As for the actual film, it's full of hilariously-dumb dialogue, really silly scares and possibly the worst husband this side of *insert The Good Wife joke here*. He never believes his wife and she constantly suffers for it. I'd almost like to see Cathy's Curse 2, even if it was just a ten-minute short set a month later where she finally divorces his ass! As a whole, this is recommended for bad movie fans, but that's about it. On the plus side, they didn't kill any dogs in this..oh crap...
Next up, I finally take a look at one of the most twisted Documentaries ever. If you ever wanted to see cute girls with toads, you're in luck! Stay tuned...
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