Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Moon Over Miami: Dr. Alien

What are you a doctor of exactly?!?  This Full Moon comes to us from the late-'80s, although it looks it is was made in the mid-'70s.  This is due to the people behind this film's DVD release giving us the cheapest DVD release possible.  I kind of expecting that with Nightmare Sisters, given that it never actually got one!  Oh yeah, this is also a David DeCoteau film.  Well, it's either about half-naked ladies or shirtless men, I suppose.  The film's plot is simple- alien hormones help you get chicks.  Don't worry- I'll fill three paragraphs somehow.  Tighten your sphincters as we go to visit...
Basically, we meet our hero.  He's a nerd and dresses up nice all the time.  How dare you...care about your appearance!  He longs for a girl at school, but can't do anything to get her attention.  Oh yeah, she also is dating the school jock/jerk.  Him and his friend go to school and meet the hot new teacher.  She invites the guy to stay after class and experiments on him.  The result- he grows an alien finger/dick on his head.  I mean, this just speaks for itself...
Boobs.  That's all I have to say...again.
*****
No, not really.  Basically, the hormone infusion makes women jump all over the guy.  For some reason, it randomly turns on and off- creating wacky hijinks.  Now, that's all I have to say.  Hello, censor blocks.
I'd be lying if I said that this whole thing wrapped up in a logical way.  Our hero enjoys his newfound 'stud' status a bit too much for his girlfriend.  He also becomes a rock singer because...um, the plot says so.  She gets mad at him for hitting on other girls.  It's around this time that the lady doctor- who is totally not an alien- shows up and...reveals that she is an alien.  She shoots up the place until the hero talks her down.  All is made well and the film Ends.
David DeCoteau's track record remains intact!  The plot of this movie is stupid and a little insulting.  Let's just say that women don't come off well in this movie.  I thought gay men understood women!  It's just an excuse to show a bunch of boobs and tell a bunch of stupid jokes.  I could lie and tell you that there was something really interesting to talk about here.  There's not.  In fact, the movie is so dumb and predictable that I was able to notice a random reference that DeCoteau put in.  Note the cereal box (and the cheap, marker-drawn box) and it's use of the title of a previous film by the Canadian man in the closet...
Next up, we cover a Full Moon film with a pun title.  How have I gone so long without talking about one of these?  Stay tuned...


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