Project Terrible: The Chaperone (2011)

Another Terrible Film for me to review.  This time, it is yet another WWE Films Production...

Bad for me, but probably passable for others.  Today's Film is The Chaperone aka That Movie With Triple H Making His Doofy Face on the Cover.  Yeah, it was bound to happen.  I featured this Poster in the past and with good reason.  It looks goofy.  So how is the Film?  It is about a man (Triple H) trying to get back with his family after 7 years in Prison.  When a Field Trip comes up, he takes the opportunity to make amends.  However, the people from his past who got him in Prison in the first place are trying to make another heist.  Will he succumb to temptation or win back his family?  You obviously know the answer, but just pretend that you don't.  Is this good, bad or just plain Terrible?  Well, it Stars Triple H, so...you do the Math.  To find out for sure, read on...

Triple H is a man who did a wrong and is now getting out of Prison.  He's turned his life around and wants to get back with his Family.

Let's get the obvious out of the way: Triple H's other Film- Inside Out- also featured this same Concept and came out in 2011.  That's...just lazy, right?

On an unrelated note, how weird is it to see Triple H with this 'Family-Friendly Guy' image when he was doing stuff like pretending to hump a corpse on WWE Raw back in 2003.

I know that some people still remember that.  Right, Bob?

He was also a Vampire with diamond Fangs with a mutated Pomeranian in 2004.  You can judge what is scarier.

Must I talk about the Plot more?  Fine!

Anyways, HHH goes to a Museum with his kid's class as- wait for it- The Chaperone.  His kid just wants to be left alone, but Bart Simpson here has no problem with it.

In a wacky twist, he can quote 'The Art of War' and knows alot about Dinosaurs, giving the kids a Tour.

See- most people in Prison don't know about Dinosaurs, so...funny?

After lots of Lifetime-style dramedy and cutesy stuff, the Film gets a bit dark as the former comrades of HHH are willing to kill him to get the loot that accidentally ended up on the boss.

Threatening to kill a teenage girl- Family Entertainment!

As you would expect, HHH and his daughter survive, the bad guys get caught and all is well.  The End.

Fairly-standard stuff and not much more.  The Plot is alright, but feels like it is right out of a Lifetime Movie.  As bad as it was at times, Leprechaun: Origins felt like a Film not just made for Television.  Dead Man Down felt like a Theatrical Film even.  This, on the other hand, feels like it should be on Oxygen.  Just swap out Triple H for Patrick Dempsey and you're all set.  To be honest, HHH is not the worst Actor I've ever seen.  He's still not that good.  When he's supposed to be emotional, you can tell that he's trying...but not much is going on.  In a key Scene where him and the daughter- Ariel Winter- have their breakthrough, she is seriously out-acting him!  Does she have more experience?  It depends what you consider Acting Experience, I suppose.  HHH has been portraying an On-Air Character since the early 1990s (starting in WCW), so arguably no.  He's been playing a Character- be it Jean Paul Levesque, Terra Ryzin or HHH- longer than she's been alive!  Could it just be that he's not very good?  The Film goes through some odd, tonal shifts that are hard to ignore.  They are a number of 'wacky' pratfall scenes played for Comedy, while a guy getting hit by a car going about 10 MPH goes into a Plot Convenient Coma happens at another point.  Confusing, right?  The point near the end where the Criminals are talking very overtly about killing H and/or his daughter is also kind of strange for a Film like this.  All in all, it is a fairly-mundane Film that seems tone-deaf at times.  Kind of like that time when HHH had Ariel Winter appear on Raw to promote the Film and get hit on by...the Star of Leprechaun: Origins...during a Kiss Cam Segment...since Little People = Children?

Next up, I cover one of two Films I got as part of a Movie Set for Christmas.  First up, it is hell on Earth and only Paul Bettany can save the day- sorry, Earth!  Stay tuned...