Monday, July 4, 2016

Top 12 Weirdest Captain America Comic Book Moments

I love Captain America.  I make this fact quite clear.

Even so, his 70ish year-run in Comics has had a whole bunch of crazy moments in it.  I might as well talk about them today...

12. Bros After Hos:  Bucky had alot of things going for him.

In the late 40s, however, he was missing a certain something.  In this case, boobs.  Yeah, he was replaced by a lady sidekick...for 8 issues...before the Book was cancelled.
11. The Slug?: Is The Kingpin too dignified for you?  Good news!

In the 80s, we got a less mobile, less scary and less interesting fat Crime Boss Villain in the form of The Slug.
10. Captain V-Neck: Captain America gets replaced alot- more on that later.

In this case, he had to quite being Cap and became Nomad.  The new costume was all sorts of silly...
9. Cap- Ladies (Related by Blood) Man: Cap was hooking up with one lady and then hooked up with her Sister.

If you think him having feelings for Peggy Carter in 1944 and later for her Niece in 2016 was weird, this is much, much weirder.  Players gotta play, you know.
8. Will the Real Cap Please Stand Up?: So try to stay with me here...

Captain America had post-WWII Comics, but not many.  When he came back in Avengers #4, they now didn't happen.  About 10 years later, they did again- sort of.

Basically, the Government hired a number of fake Caps to fill in the blanks while he was gone.  Confused yet?
7. Cap vs Pointless Retcons: A simple Story is not simple enough.

So Cap falls in the water, gets frozen and wakes up in the 1960s.  Simple, right?  Wrong!

In one Retcon, he gets out, exposed to gas and frozen again- all due to a typo in Avengers #4.  Much later, we now learn that he was frozen INTENTIONALLY by the U.S. Government because he would have been opposed to them dropping 'the bomb.'  What?!?

So yeah, this last one is pretty much not a thing anymore.
6. Cap & His Forgettable Sidekicks: The poor guy has a terrible track record with proteges.

His first one died, but later became a Russian Assassin.  The new Bucky just kind of...exists.  Falcon was good, but had some problems (see later).  When Cap was replaced, he got a black Bucky...not realizing that 'Buck' was a racial slur.  He later had Demolition Man...who got frozen, went crazy, became homeless and later died as a villain.

The Heroes Reborn Cap copied The Dark Knight Returns with a female Bucky with somewhat reasonable success.  To end all that, however, he also had Free Spirit and Jack Flag, the latter of whom had a boombox weapon.  Nuff said.
5. Whiny Cap-borg: Ah the story that nearly killed Cap for me.

At one point in the 80s, Cap had the serum removed- which was somehow possible 40 years later.  It just came back and the story was forgotten.  Years after that, it suddenly started to fail...for no good reason.

This led to lots of moping, whining and eventually Cap in a life-support/battle armor suit.  Ugh!
4. The big Falcon Retcon: This one still hurts after all of these years.

Falcon was a great Character, but one Writer had other ideas.  As part of a big Arc, The Red Skull revealed that he had been messing with Cap for awhile thanks to the Cosmic Cube.  Here's where it goes badly...

He reveals that Falcon wasn't some Hero he took under his wing (no pun intended).  No, he was just some guy (who looked like a Pimp) that was transformed into Falcon by Skull to later betray Cap.  All that story gone- until a year or so ago when it was finally retconned out again.
3. Cap-Wolf: Do I really need to explain?

Captain America was turned into a Wolfman.  He fought Wolverine.  He had to be saved by Dr. Druid.  That is all.
2. Grandma Cap: This one gets better with age- pun intended.

During WWII, Cap and Bucky go undercover to follow a Spy as...and old woman and her ward.  Was that really the best disguise?

Even though this plan actually *works*, was it worth it?
1. Cap goes full-circle: Captain America had a great Film eventually.

In the meantime, he had two odd ones with Reb Brown in the 70s and a dull one in 1992.  That didn't stop Marvel from adapting the Film into a Comic though!

To review, a Comic Book Character got a Film...that became a Comic.  While that isn't that unique to Comics (oddly enough), it is still a bit of a mind#$@k!
And yes, I do own this Comic.  God bless America.

I patiently await the return of Cap to his roots and all of the non-fanfare it will get.  USA!  USA!  USA!

1 comment:

  1. I have a soft spot in my heart for Cap-Wolf, as stupid as the idea was. There's just something hilariously awesome about Captain America becoming a werewolf, and I love (slash hate) the idea that Wolverine's healing factor somehow prevents him from becoming a werewolf, though they can still control his mind, and...ah, well. It's a bizarre little comic but oddly endearing.

    The grandma disguise always amused me, conceptually. Half the idea of Cap is that he went from being a spindly little guy to this big, powerful, muscle-bound fighter due to the super-soldier serum. Who in the red-white-and-blue hell thought that it was then a good idea to say that he disguised himself as a grandmother of all things? How many grandmothers with herculean physiques do you know?

    I mean, Mae Young was pretty dang tough, but I don't think you could dress Chris Evans up as her when he's in shape for playing Cap and have anyone buy it!

    Maybe that story would work with, y'know, Dr. Strange in the universe, but at that point to my knowledge Cap didn't have any Sorcerer Supreme-level allies.