Thursday, July 21, 2016

Rare Flix: Mil Mascaras vs. The Mummy (aka Mil Mascaras: Resurrection) {2007}

From Mexico with queso!  Today's Film is Mil Mascaras vs. The Mummy aka Mil mascaras: Resurrection, an Action-Horror-Sci-Fi Film from 2007.  Who is Mil Mascaras?  If you don't follow Pro-Wrestling, that's a fair question.  If you follow Pro-Wrestling, but don't know much about Lucha Libre, that's still a pretty fair question.  Mil Mascaras is a Legend in Mexico and a Legendary dick in America.  I can't speak for the incidents personally, but many Wrestlers like Mick Foley, Chris Jericho and others have talked about how he refuses to sell (act hurt) or take moves well.  His response is pretty much 'If you don't do it right, I won't pretend that you did.'  Fair enough...if it didn't happen so often.  Regardless, Mascaras is notable for being a Luchador and a Movie Star in Mexico.  His first Film came out in 1966, while this is the most recent one I can confirm.  This one comes to us from a regular Director of Sequels- Jeff Burr.  His works include Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3, Stepfather II, Pumpkinhead II and Puppet Master 4/5.  This is somehow *not* a Sequel, although it is based around the premise that everyone in the World knows Mil Mascaras.  This is some Steven Seagal-type stuff here!  Has he earned it though?  The Plot involves a whole mish-mash of previous Mexican and Luchador Film Tropes making this very much a 'love letter' to those Films.  A Mummy, evil Monks, Luchadors, a Temple and even a Robot show up.  Yes, a Robot!  Does this succeed at making me love these Films or just remind me of how silly they can be?  To find out, read on...
This is Mil Mascaras.  This is Mil Mascaras in a Scene where his Fiancee breaks up with him.

I should note that Mascaras was 65 when this was made and his lady was nowhere near that.
This is the Mummy.  He's evil and bilingual.  He wants to rule the World.
This is Mil's shown by a vision in River.  He tells our Hero that he's special and Magic.  Why he's just now figuring this out at 65 is anyone's guess.

We later learn that his mask is magic and has 1,000 forms.  Yes, even his mask-changing has backstory!
Unrelated to the imminent threat of the Mummy, our Hero's Scientist friend has built a robot.
Mil investigates the theft of some blood (after wrestling a Tag Match, of course).  It is all part of the Mummy's plan.
Speaking of said Tag Match, it is being judged by Harley Race and PJ Soles.  So, of course, it ends in a pinfall (not counted by either).
Now fully aware of the threat, Mascaras is greeted by The President of the United States (as played by the late Richard Lynch).

Not only that, but he also briefs the Joint Chiefs of Staff!
While the Mummy builds up his power, he tries out numerous plots to kill Mascaras.  They include poisoning his food, siccing two Vampire Twins on him and replacing his next opponent with a demonic double.

None of this works, of course.
All of this builds up to a battle between the two forces.  Highlights include the Robot appearing (but not fighting the Mummy!), a bunch of Luchadors showing up to fight the Monks and the explosion of an ancient Mayan Temple.

Screw you, Paleontologists!  The End.
Silly fun, at least to a point.  Right off the bat, let me address the obvious- this is a bit of an ego piece.  Everyone loves and trust Mil Mascaras.  Everyone knows that he's the best!  He's the guy who trained The Most Interesting Man in the World!  To be fair, this is played with a little...but not much.  The President goes to him and tells the Joint Chiefs of Staff that 'Everyone here knows Mil Mascaras.'  Really?  On top of that, his Scientist friend (who I'm pretty sure is younger than Mil!) tell him that he's the best person for his Daughter.  I feel like I want to throw up in my mask a little right now.  Putting that said, Mil Mascaras vs. The Mummy is a silly Film with Action, bizarre moments and some cheesy laughs.  It is not meant to be taken seriously.  At its best, it is a series of Scenes that remind people like me of the silly stuff in these Films.  A Robot shows up!  At its worst, the Film is just kind dull, since Mascaras doesn't have much charisma here.  The whole thing is certainly odd and fun at times though...even if they couldn't afford to put a fake plate on this Van for the Film...
Next up, more killer animals- this time from the 80s.  Let's see how scary those Eyes can be.  Stay tuned...

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