Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Rare Flix: Welcome Home, Brother Charles

I picked this for one reason, but was it worth it?  Today's Film is Welcome Home, Brother Charles, a 1975 Blaxploitation Film also known as Soul Vengeance.  The latter Title sounds more like the Subtitle for a Tekken Film!  This rare Film tells the tale of a man sent to Jail for, well, something he actually did.  However, worse punishment that he deserves happens to him and he goes through some troubles in Prison.  When he gets out a few years later, he just wants to make peace.  Things change and he eventually seeks his (alternate) titular revenge.  The Film has an odd hook to it, but why SPOIL things now.  To note, our Star only has *this* Film on his IMDB page, which is kind of interesting.  The rest worked here and there in things, the White Actors even appearing in quite a few Westerns.  Why should you care about Brother Charles?  To find out, read on...
In a pre-Abrams Flash Forward, we see Charles threatening to jump off of a roof.  How did it come to this?
We flash back to Charles in his Pimp days.  He's arrested...for actually trying to commit a crime, but then the Racist Cop (there's always one...in Films) stabs him in his junk.
On top of that, he gets sentenced to 3 years in Prison by a crooked Lawyer (there's always one...you know the joke), the Racist Cop and a Judge who was actually at the Scene as 'a John.'

Even Clarence Thomas would call you out on your conflict of interest there!
When he gets out, things have changed.  His lady is working for his former-friend, the latter of whom never once helped him during his time away.
While Charles finds it hard to get work (that's better now...right?), he also sees a Doctor about some strange health issues since his exit from Prison.  Where is this going?
Eventually, Charles decides that he needs to get his (soul) vengeance.  He goes after the Racist Cop first and shows off a strange ability to control his wife.  Huh?
When he goes after the Lawyer that sent him away next, they finally reveal the secret.  Charles' weapon is...

His dick.
Seriously, he now has a giant, mutant dick that chokes this guy like a constrictor snake!
With only 10 minutes to go in the Film, Charles' attempt to kill the Judge is blocked and we tie back to the Flash Forward.  His Lady shows up and...tells him to jump.  Does he?

Who knows- the Film ends right there!  The End.
Based on why I got it, this is kind of a disappointment.  I won't lie- I knew what the twist was.  That's why I picked it.  The Film takes FOREVER to give you the pay-off.  Is it just because the Budget was about enough to buy one Dinner at Outback Steakhouse?  They clearly went for the crazy gimmick, so why not highlight it more?  So with that said, the pay-off is pretty nice.  It doesn't make a lick of sense, but who cares?  This is pure gold.  It is just a shame that the rest of the Film is either bleak, awkward or just plain drawn-out.  I wanted to tell you 'Oh man- this is great!  I discovered a gem that will break the Internet!!!'  Alas, I didn't.  Welcome Home, Brother Charles is a Film with some goofy-ass nonsense at the end, but that's about it.  On the plus side, it Stars The Miz's Character from The Marine 3-4 and someone I'm just going to assume is Bam Bam Bigelow's Dad...
Next up, I celebrate the Season Finale of Lucha Underground.  To do so, a modern Film with a Mexican Wrestler and a Mummy!  Stay tuned...

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