Thursday, October 4, 2012

Seagal Week 2: The Foreigner- Black Dawn

Are you ready for the film that even Seagal gave up on making?  Today's film is Black Dawn aka The Foreigner 2: Black Dawn.  It's a consistency issue between IMDB and the actual DVD, but I can see both sides of it.  Basically, Seagal is the same character from The Foreigner...but that's about it.  Other than using a random action scene (more on that later) from that film, it doesn't relate at all.  So Seagal is the same Agent and he works undercover with some a degree that seems a bit much.  It's actually a plot point...but Seagal is the star, so it amounts to nothing.  There is one thing seriously wrong with this movie due to its omission, but I'm choosing to leave you in the dark for a little while longer.  To find out why it's always blackest at the dawn, read on...
Seagal sneaks into a Prison (thanks to some very minor deception) and slips out a prisoner...with some major ease.  Prisons are Seagal's bitch!
As it turns out, he's a crime lord that hired Seagal...while not knowing who he is at first.  Yeah, that makes a Seagal film.
This woman is investigating the bad guys and recognizes Seagal's character, since he was her mentor.  Translation: he's the reason that she's 'good.'  Glad we could establish that.
The whole 'undercover' thing falls apart quickly and leads to an action scene right out of Terminator 3.  Aiming for the most critically-acclaimed films to copy, huh?
After the truck crashes, we have to wonder how Seagal got out without us seeing it.  The answer- teleportation.

Seriously, they don't even show his double jumping to safety.  We see the woman do it though.
If you thought that Seagal fight scenes were awkwardly-edited before, you haven't seen anything yet.  Try to make sense of what happens in this still shot.

Here's the thing: Seagal left the set 18 days into a 30-day shooting schedule.  Therefore, he didn't film his fight scenes...more than usual.
Skipping ahead, the terrorists get a hold of a bomb and prepare to set it off.  As it turns out, the Scooby-Doo Rule comes into play, making the only other recognizable Actor- Character Actor Timothy Carhart- turn out to be the villain.  Joy.
Since this film was finished without its star, he's taken out with ease, but he does set the timer off.

To close out the absurdity, they drop the bomb in the Ocean- bye bye fish- and fly away.  That's right- EMPs don't exist in this Seagal-verse.  The End.
Even without Seagal in it all that much, the film sucks.  To begin with, all of the usual crap is here.  There's a bit of voice dubbing (still no ADR, Seagal?), lots of shadows and one instance of his double.  That trope is lessened, since Seagal left the production before any of the real fights could be shot.  So, in a weird way, a major gaffe makes for one less minor one- yea?  Supposedly this has to do with money issues between him and Avi Lerner, the Producer and Owner of Nu Image/Millennium Films.  It's so sad to see shitty actors refusing to get along with the Producer of shitty movies, isn't it?  I kid, I kid.  Without him around to 'do action scenes,' the movie has to be content with just crappy shoot-outs.  Shoot-outs in Seagal films are the worst things, since the drama is pretty much non-existent in them.  So, without the fight scenes, you have the worst action scenes from Seagal and a stupid, stupid plot.  The whole thing is about Seagal helping terrorists get a bomb b/c he works for a super-secret spy agency...and he really has no good plan to stop them.  Seriously, he lets them get the bomb and...that's about as far as his plan goes.  You're a terrible spy.  If you like to laugh at the bad Seagal films, you're better off with other films.  Aside from the bomb silliness, it's just stupid fluff.  Isn't that right, bad green screen effect?
Next up, Seagal on a sub.  Unfortunately, this film also involves a Director I I may have to lash out at the ones I love.  Stay tuned...

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