Orange Crap: Hallow's End

Another crappy film for this Hallow's Eve.  Today's film is Hallow's End, a movie that is not exactly at the top of anyone's list.  I could have done Trick R Treat, I suppose, but where's the fun in that?  Mondo Bizarro is all about shit that you don't know about.  Whether those films are good- that's the interesting part. So what is this film about?  It's a film about a bunch of College Students setting up a Haunted House for charity and things go awry.  It's hard to really explain any more than that in the introduction, so let's move on.  It's important to know that this is a low-budget affair and has to be judged appropriately.  Obviously, I've mocked $40 million films and $4,000 dollar films- it's all equal.  The film is...something.  To find out more, read on...

The film starts strongly enough with some Druid-like guys chanting around a book.  I'm not exactly clear on how important this is in the grand scheme of things, but it's good.

In the Present, a Fraternity is setting up a Haunted House as a Charity Event.  This means lots of Soap Opera-style acting and relationships.

Seriously, most of the film is about these people and their interlocked love triangles.  It's...really annoying.  This is a horror film, right?

The only upside I can see is that the Haunted House looks pretty neat.  Maybe they could have just made that and not a movie.  Just a thought.

Finally, nearly an hour into the film, the horror elements occur.  The magic book they got delivered earlier causes everyone to become what their costume is.  The hot Asian girl dressed as a Vampire- she's now an actual Vampire.

I'd like this plot more if it wasn't a) really boring and b)done better in House of Fears.

"Yaar, I wish I was in a decent movie.  Go back to sleep now, audience!"

On the plus side, most of these unlikable characters are killed.  That's the reaction they were going for, right?

In the End, our hero and his former-girlfriend-turned-widowed-lesbian escape the house in...mid-evening.  Was the sun melting outside?

However, it doesn't truly end until we see that the guy who gave them the book was Satan.  We also see that the Book is now in the possession of the widowed-lesbian and she ponders whether or not to use it.  The End.

This movie..could have at least been good.  Seriously, the movie has a neat premise behind it.  What went wrong?  In case you just skipped to the end, they waste over two-thirds of the film on Soap Opera crap.  If you want to make a Soap Opera, do it.  By the way, I got a film like this last Halloween, didn't I?  To be fair, that one may have actually been a Soap Opera plot intentionally, while this one just seemed to want to focus on a bunch characters and their back-stories.  The problem is that this is marketed as a Horror Film and it barely delivers in that regard.  There is room for all kinds of films, but I don't see why this has to be included.  This could have been a short film- say an hour or so- and I would have liked it better.  The fact that they wasted so much of my time just makes me care all the less.  Maybe they could throw in a brief lesbian scene or two to spice things up...

Next up, I continue to do the Halloween series backwards.  Might as well begin November with Michael Meyers, right?  Stay tuned...