Thursday, October 11, 2012

Amityville Rules: Amityville II: The Possession

The house is alive...with the sound of dollar bills.  Today's film is Amityville II: The Possession, the original sequel to the film based on a book based on 'real life.'  Nobody can really confirm the story, but it's totally real.  I don't want any angry message from anyone related to the Lutz affair, so I'll let the subject pass.  Instead, I'll focus on a guy who's definitely not going to send me an angry message: Dino De Laurentiis.  I kid, I kid.  Basically, he wanted to make a sequel, since the original was a hit, and decided NOT to base it on the book sequel- 'The Amityville Horror: Part II.'  Yeah, don't do the obvious- they'll see it coming.  Instead, he based it on a different book written by a guy named Hans Holzer, a Ghost Hunter who likes to exploit people's tragedy.  He died in 2009, so he won't be bothering me either...unless he was right all along.  What was that noise?!?  Anyhow, Dino co-opted the franchise and hired the future Director of Pizza Connection (heh heh- funny title) to make a Prequel.  Yeah, this is a Prequel...if the names were different.  To see how it all went wrong (in what I watched), read on...
This still shot from the opening titles actually sells the two things that are really wrong here.  1) The influx of Italians (no offense) into this American tale.  2) The house looks different, rendering the connection moot.
Here's the other reason: it's based on the second-hand book version that alleges to tell how the kid went crazy in the house originally.  Ugh.
Not three minutes in, we meet our new lead: Burt Young.

No, no, no.  Recast this and get back to me.
Here's a weird inconsistency for you: the brick wall that George tore down is now a wooden this Prequel.  The hell?
The creature/spirit escapes from...the unlocked panel and infects the oldest son.  Oh and they use P.O.V.- I hate that.
Things go downhill about fifteen minutes in when the spirit paints an elaborate and silly drawing on the wall.  Naturally, Burt thinks that the kids did it.  Really Burt?
Truth time: I did not finish this movie.  I just found that I didn't care for these people and never went back.

If you saw the beginning of the first film, you know what happens.  Drama- what's that?!?  The End.
So what was the point of this?  The movie is just not that good.  The problem is the severe disconnect between the first film and this.  Nothing seems to connect, which would be fine if this wasn't a Prequel.  I should also point out that the fact that this is a Prequel is not exactly clear.  They don't establish this as the events that led up to the original film.  It probably is good in one regard, since the drama is theoretically still there.  The problem, as I said, is that I just don't care about these people.  They've been in the house for like a day and try to kill each other.  What.  The.  Hell?  These people are just not pleasant and I kind of hope that they die.  Was that the plan, Dino?  It's a shame too, since Tommy Lee Wallace wrote the Screenplay.  If you don't know, he Directed It, Fright Night: Part 2 and Wrote/Directed Halloween III.  He also wrote an Episode of The Twilight Zone (relaunch) about three College guys who catch a Leprechaun- true story!  If someone gave enough of a damn to watch all of this movie, tell me if I really missed anything.  Somehow, I doubt it.  To show much I really care, here's a shot showing how little I watched in lieu of an actual joke...
Next up, the final official film in the series for me to review.  Will obscurity be a curse or a blessing?  Stay tuned...

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