Saturday, April 7, 2012

Starch Overload: Children of the Corn- The Gathering

Are you ready...for something completely unrelated to everything else?  This movie is odd for a lot of reasons.  As I've mentioned in the last couple of reviews, I consider the first film to be a Trilogy of sorts.  At some point, Dimension and Miramax picked up the franchise and took over.  What came about is a film that wants to be part of the series, but really has no right to be.  It has some mind-controlled kids and a Cornfield, but no reference to He Who Walks Behind the Rows (in the official release), no actual evil kid (more on that later) and it's not even related to Gatlin.  Remember that Dracula film about a different Vampire in Romania?  No, because that's a stupid idea.  In terms of continuity, this is the Friday the 13th: A New Beginning of the series. Is it that bad in terms of actual quality?  Well, before we get to that, you should know that Naomi Watts is in this movie.  That is all.  To find out more, read on...
Naomi Watts is a young lady who comes home to help her Mother out, not really knowing that an evil force is lingering about...
This evil kid spirit begins to start killing people- since modern horror films can't go 15 minutes without a death scene- and does some vaguely-evil stuff to make his plan work.
Around this time, all of the kids in town get sick.  I should mention that Karen Black is her Mom and she has a very, very young sister.  Age is a bit confusing here, folks.
As it turns out, the evil kid spirit has taken control of the kids in town.  They make the mistake of mixing science into the plot, however, as Watts discovers that the kids' blood samples include dead tissue (meaning that of the evil spirit kid).

Go ahead, explain that!
Sparing you the slew of random, pointless kills, I'll instead jump to this film's silly explanation of a plot.

Basically, a kid was made into a Preacher and fed Mercury to keep him small.  He went crazy, killed the Preachers and was burned to death.  Now, for some reason, he can come back.  Oh yeah, his weakness is Mercury.
The controlled kids do a Ceremony where they drip blood into a bathtub and the evil kid spirit is now, um, just an evil kid, I guess.
However, Watts and company take him out by putting Mercury in a water tank and dousing him with it.  You gave the 'Wicked Witch of the West' then?  That's a bit disappointing.  The End.
Evil is random and doesn't relate to anything.  What does this movie have to do with anything exactly?  Why is this a Children of the Corn film?  The kid doesn't come from the Cornfield, live in the Cornfield or even have 'magic corn powers.'  What is this movie?  Like I said before, this is basically a pretender to the series made by Dimension/Miramax to make a quick buck.  Fun fact: This film excises the number from the title, but it would be back for the 5th film.  Numbers get more confusing as the series just seems to jump ahead another 660 films to make the follow-up, which then led to the series no longer using numbers.  This is what I deal with on a weekly basis, people!  Back to this film, it has some odd pacing to it.  As mentioned before, it's chock full of bloody and pointless death scenes.  All of the films are, mind you, but this one seems even less subtle about it.  It's almost like an unseen clock is always ticking and once it nears thirteen minutes, someone has to die!  The film is just a weird, shallow mess.  Have you ever seen a villain taken down by a chemical like Mercury in a film after, say, 1962?  It's just...well, odd.  Take us away, really rubber-like blood on the ground...
Next up, we breach the halfway point in the series.  The fifth film is notable for its guest stars and one actress who really wants you not to see the film.  Stay tuned...

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