Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Project Terrible: Bombshell

My own creation strikes at me again!  Damn you, Adam!  In all seriousness, this is my contribution to Round 4 of Project Terrible, an elaborate game of Dare.  In exchange for getting others to watch crap chosen by me- i.e. Five Across the Eyes- I have to watch stuff chosen by them.  Quick shout-out to my friend and fellow Blogger over at Gaming Creatively, who gave me this film out of spite.  First up is Bombshell, a movie made in the '90s and about the future.  Of course, they got 90% of it wrong.  This is the same decade that brought us the Macarena, so what did they know?  If you like bright colors, dull acting and a plot so obviously-contrived that Renny Harlin should be Directing, you're in luck.  Is this film Terrible or is it just to pitiful to really be mad at?  To find out, read on...
Before we really get to the plot, we get a slightly-censored sex scene within the first five minutes or so.  No, really.

By the way, the film's title comes from our hero calling his fiancee that once.  Sigh.
Okay, here's the plot: our hero (the guy on the left) is working to put nannites into people to cure disease.  His partner is Frank Whaley...and he's obviously the villain.  Sorry, but you always are, Frank.
A test goes badly, leading to the death of a cat.  Poor Bastard of Cinema?  Our hero protests the imminent start of human trials, but the boss counters with a bullshit quote attributed to John Lennon.  Touche, sir!
Our hero is kidnapped one night and wakes up feeling some impromptu surgery done to him.  What could be the reason?  Who could be behind it?  I mean, it's obviously Frank Whaley, but...
The man behind it is this guy in a mask, who talks to people via videos.  I should mention that Saw alumni Shawnee Smith is here.  Foreshadowing?
Random Victoria Jackson cameo!  That is all.
After being captured by the villain, our heroine is told his tragic tale.  It's a tale of death in a car accident that...wait, is that Crash Test Dummy footage?  That's your tragic footage?  HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Here's a shock- Whaley is the bad guy.  It's all about getting to the boss of the company and making him liable for potential death from the trails.  You could stop working on the project, you know.
Action Movie Cliche #3,214 is back, albeit with running instead of jumping.  I'll take it..since the movie is over.  The End.
This was bright, garish and meh.  The plot of this movie is certainly a bit different, even if it does draw from a number of stock elements.  Scientist with a conscience- check.  Dickhead boss who just cares about the bottom line- check.  Barely-remembered movie with Frank Whaley as the villain- big check!  There's not a lot to really hate about this film.  That said, there's really not a lot to recommend all that much.  It is fun to laugh at the '90s view of the future, with everyone dressing in neon and driving a Lamborghini.  I wish (for the latter, at least)!  Other than that, it's just weird, silly and full of Dutch angles.  On a final note, I should mention that this movie not only picks a future time, but picks a future date.  They're...a bit off... 
Up next, a generic slasher film with a $200 budget.  I love movies that are like other movies, but worse.  Stay tuned...

1 comment:

  1. When I saw the cover for this one on Netflix, that was all it took to convince me this had to be part of Project Terrible. Simple shot of the hero's face as he stares at a computer in bright green lighting? That's one of the laziest covers I've ever seen!

    The Harry Knuckles review will be up Thursday.