Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Rare Flix: Project Metalbeast

Aw man, this is the shit.  It is mostly shit- but you have to love it!  Today's Film is Project Metalbeast, a 1995 Horror-Action Film.  Where do I begin?  'Brad' makes a bullet-proof Werewolf.  Oh right- that explains it.  Around the time that the Howling Films were still profitable (jokes), stuff like this got made.  This one has WAY more Werewolf action than the last few Sequels and doesn't shoehorn its Producer in as a Star.  Say what you will about Shyamalan, but he has yet to be as terrible as Clive Turner!  Good times.  Where was I?  Right.  The Film stars Barry Bostwick and Kane Hodder, although the latter is buried under about 50 pounds of fur and latex the whole time.  The Plot is pretty damn ridiculous- duh!  When in doubt, bring back a guy who hates you AND is a Werewolf- makes sense to me!  I love this kind of stilly stuff, but must watch it online when a DVD is so hard to find.  For a more easy find (that being more), read on...
In the opening, a Soldier tracks down a Werewolf at a Castle.

Well, it is actually on-screen, so it can't be the lady from Howling V!  Werewolf Burn!
After he kills the creature, he gets mad at his boss (Bostwick) for belittling him.  His response- inject the Werewolf blood into himself!
After he kills a few folks, he is taken down by a silver bullet from Bostwick.

20 years later (now in 1995), Bostwick pushes a group of Scientists to try their metal-skin-bonding program on some cadavers.  Somehow, the guy makes the cut and comes back to life to boot!
Naturally, the Scientists- especially our Final Girl/Woman- are suspicious of this whole thing.  They don't even know that he's a Werewolf...yet.
Soon enough, the man morphs into a now-bullet-proof Monster!  He's mean, ugly and metallic!
Can this creature be killed or is pretty much everyone doomed?!?
Well, yes and no.  Most of them- including Bostwick- die.

However, they just bust out a silver-tipped RPG (right out of Army of Two) and blow his ass to pieces!  The End.
Dumb, but awesome stuff.  A bulletproof, super-Werewolf running around a Military Base- what is not to love?!?  Yes, this is stupid.  Yes, this Plot is all over the place.  Yes, they did appear to steal the 'thawing a guy out that you shouldn't' thing from Demolition Man (released a year or so earlier).  What is your point?  I live for this kind of stuff.  I make no apologies about it.  Things balance out for me since I just watched a Wim Wenders Film, right?  Let's go with that.  If you watch Project Metalbeast, you know what you are getting.  Big whoop- wanna fight about it?  Oh no- not me.  Him...
Next up, a look at some new Horror.  Will it be a biting Comedy or something just plain weird?  Stay tuned...


  1. Have you seen Wolf Cop? It had an interesting take on the genre.

    Plus, a wolf cop.