New Crap?: Battle of the Damned

The kind-of Sequel that nobody was demanding!  Today's film is Battle of the Damned, a new Film from the man who brought us Robotropolis.  I know- exciting, right?  This 2014 Film features 'Rage Zombies,' a bunch of Robots and a Dolph Lundgren who appears to be conscious for the whole thing.  It has one thing up on In The Name of the King 2 then.  The Film seems to be aiming to be alot of things, while also being a stripped down Action Film.  There is a whole implied Story about an Umbrella Corporation-style group that made a Virus, but it is really just background information.  Will this lead to another side-film exploring this more?  Who knows?  The real question is this: is the Film good?  To find out, get out your stabbing knife and read on...

The film opens suddenly with Dolph and a bunch of Commandos fighting some Zombies in a dank, rusty Town.  This film sure is a great Commercial for Malaysia- Come From the Sheet Metal Houses, Stay for the Lockjaw!

The group is whittled down to just Dolph and one other guy, who he sends off to safety as he plans to finish the mission alone.  Weird use of the 'Surprise- Title Card' Trope here.

The mission: retrieve this young lady, who just happens to be the Daughter of the CEO of The Not-Umbrella Corporation.  She's working behind the lines in a City that is about to be fire-bombed.

She is hiding out there with a group of Walking Dead-like Survivors (feel free to name associate everyone here with someone on the show).  The catch: they're convinced that trying to escape is futile, while Dolph is like 'Leave- now!'

Oh and the Daughter is pregnant.  That's no SPOILER, as you find out less than 20 minutes in.  Plus, cliche.

How does Dolph end up in this mess?  I won't SPOIL that for you, since I'm nice like that.

Dolph gets a reliable partner- finally!- and plans to help them escape...no matter how much they don't want to.  The pair find something that catches their eyes though...

Robots- bloody Robots!

Get it?  Because, there's blood and...I guess that wasn't too complicated after all.  Moving on...

Can Dolph use these Robots from Robotropolis (more on that later) to make the escape?  How many Zombies will be killed?

I won't SPOIL that, but I will leave you with this pointlessly-arty shot from the Climax.  I guess the Director got bored.  The End.

It is...alright.  Honestly, my expectations were a bit see-saw here.  On one hand, I had absolutely no expectations of quality.  Considering that the film was not terrible (mostly just generic), it exceeded them.  On the other hand, the parts that make up the film should amount to something really, really cool.  It has Robots, Zombies (even if they constantly say that they aren't), Commandos and a ticking clock scenario.  Unfortunately, the combination of these is not all that impressive.  The movie takes about an hour to have the Robots show up to actually do anything.  The Zombies are used almost too much and have no discernible traits.  While the Action Scenes with them are never bad, you just get a bit desensitized to them.  I wasn't expecting a 'Boss Zombie' or something (been there, done that), but something different would have been nice.  It is also worth noting that these are your standard 'Rage Zombies'/'Infected.'  I don't mind the running ones (just to avoid that Debate for now), but they often just resemble angry people.  That's a good description of what these guys are.  Considering that even the deconstructed films like Warm Bodies (which was interesting) don't mix it up, I guess I shouldn't expect a Film like this to.  If you are looking for some decent, mindless stuff from a Redbox, this will suffice.  If nothing else, it gives us some closure to Robotropolis...

Next up, I cover a new Uwe Boll film.  Will this Dolph-less Sequel stink less when it is fresh out on DVD?  Stay tuned...