Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Fan Service Time! : Freddy vs. Jason

There's no way that the hype could overshadow the actual film!  After years of hype and expectations, the film was finally made.  Back in the day, a film was planned that would pit Michael Meyers against Jason Voorhees.  Eventually, someone realized that neither character did anything other than kill people, so that was scrapped.  If you're going to keep Jason, you need someone with attitude and, you know, functional vocal chords.  That led to Freddy getting the nod, a move helped by New Line Cinema owning both character rights.  Even so, the film took years to get made, originally being planned in place of Friday the 13th, Part 7.  The film is notable for re-casting Jason Voorhees,- in lieu of a taller actor- getting Ronnie Yu as the Director and trying to tie the two characters together awkwardly.  Oh yeah, they also re-cast Jason's Mom- lame.  To see how this mess came together, read on...
Freddy Krueger has been gone for some years and his threat has been forgotten.  Remember when he had literally killed the town's teenage population in Part 6?  How does that fit in here?
If you don't know, Jason is used by Freddy to scare people.  His deaths were designed to make the police think of Freddy and, by extension, mention him off-hand near a teenager.  That's right- his plan hinges upon this random coincidence!

By the way, how does a guy being hacked to death make people think of Freddy Krueger?  Did he ever do that?!?
Random throwback to the Boiler Room- nice.  The whole scene being forcibly tinted red like it's Sin City- not so much.
Jason Voorhees angers Freddy by killing the above girl while she was in a dream.  Even worse, he stumbles throw a corn field while on fire.  That's how you escape a corn maze- stupid movie!
Freddy continues to make me question how his powers work and, to a serious extent, how his murders ever looked normal.  How do those scars appear from his dreams?  How was he talking to them if he was asleep?
BIG-LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT: Freddy turns into a pot-smoking worm creature before taking over the stoner's body.  Holy Nightmare on Elm Street 2 reference, Batman!
Demon Freddy finally picks a fight with Jason for real, knocking Jason out with some drugs and kicking his ass in the dream world.  By the way, that whole plot point about a permanent, anti-sleep drug- entirely pointless.
Through some more contrivances and silliness, our heroes bring Freddy into the real world- how does that work and why can some people do it, bu not others?- and the fight goes more evenly.  Trailer shot!
After all is said and done, Jason kills real-life Freddy after our heroes are gone, but the head is still alive.  How?  Oh yeah, the Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash comic completely pisses away that continuity to, by the way!  The End.
Eat it, fans!  The plot of this movie is just too goofy and uneven for me.  These crossover films often fail when a silly explanation has to be given for why the characters must interact.  Freddy needs Jason to kill people on Elm Street to bring his name back to life- okay.  So Freddy was never really dead and could come back at any time?  Doesn't that kill the drama behind every film previously, including the last real film WHERE HE EXPLODED?!?  While it's true that Jason's mask was pulled into the ground by Freddy at the end of Jason Goes to Hell, he did come back in Jason X and proved that he could never really die.  Of course, he did die several times throughout the series, including that one time where he came back as a worm!  So much of the film feels like it was written years earlier, which is probably true.  Would it have killed you to match the continuity of Jason X at all though?  Yes, I do realize how silly that sounds.  We're talking about a film where Freddy Krueger turns into a pot-smoking, CG worm though!  The film has a lot of gore, but no soul or real drive to it.  It's a lame cash-in that people paid to see out of love for the characters.  That will show you!  Take us away, silly physics...
Up next, one of the biggest sequel debacles of all-time is here- a year after I meant to review it.  This review will also be based on a real-fake story.  Stay tuned...


  1. I, too, was hopelessly unimpressed by the severe retardedness of this movie. *shrug* It is what it is, no fixin' it now. :\

  2. I love this movie. Just can't help myself.