Poor Bastards of Cinema: Black Cobra

A lot of attention is given to certain characters in movies. People talk about the villains, the monsters, the 'final girl' and even the sleazy coach in bad 80s horror films (you know the ones). The ones that have started to catch my attention lately have been 'the poor bastards.' These are the guys (or girls) who play minor roles in the story, but meet just as bad of an end as the jerks of the film. I think these guys need some attention, because, let's face it: they have earned it. For starters, let's cover a little Italian movie called...

Black Cobra

To begin with, this movie is a terrible rip-off of an already terrible film: Cobra. How can it go up from there? It can't.

The scene in question involves the action after the seeming climax of the film. The villain survives a knife in the back and plans revenge. He completely changes his look (fake tan, hair dye, etc.) and follows our hero and the lady out to lunch. In a completely nonsensical bit, our hero (Fred "The Hammer" Williamson) spots the guy in his peripheral vision and figures the plan out instantly. He sees a gun and, in a moment of true heroics, kicks himself and the girl's chairs (and their bodies) out of the way of a shot. Who takes it? Some random old man in the background.

That's right- our hero saves his own life, but dooms a random guy! Who was this guy? Was he important enough to merit his own film? We will never know now, will we?!? The guy doesn't even get a name in the credits! That poor bastard.

I have a lot more to say about this movie, but I'm saving it for a video review. Yes, I will eventually make some.

Up next, a guy who learns that love is just a way to get killed pointlessly. Stay tuned...