What do you get when you mix a black action star, a soon-to-be-famous action writer/director and Christopher Lambert? If you guessed, a really good movie, you would be quite a bit off. Instead, you get an action movie featuring the stars of Highlander 3 and featuring Dennis Leary as a hit man. Close enough! On top of all of that, it also has a good actor in it. They barely use him and get rid of him far too often, but he is in there...dammit. Until Tales of the Ancient Empire or Mortal Kombat 3 come out, enjoy my review of...
The movie is all about one thing: money, money money! A powerful drug dealer lost $40 million and really, really wants it back. What? You want more of a plot than that? Okay, I'll throw in Mario Van Peebles as a DEA Agent. As it turns out, he is pursuing the thief of the dealer as well and it's a 90's-style action race to find him. Before that all takes place, we get a disturbing scene of a lady 'riding' Christopher Lambert and him faking a scared face. I'm scarred for life now- thanks, movie.
*
The plot stumbles into really bad action cliches and pretty much never leaves them. Peebles catches Lambert and tries to get information out of him. The Frenchman tries to get away from him, all the while avoiding pot-shots from his other enemy. Dennis Leary is hot on their trail and nobody can rescue them from his sarcastic wit. Wow, even I'm embarrassed by that joke. He captures Peebles after his target leaves him in a trap. If you ever wanted to see the star of Solo dragged from a helicopter, this is your movie. He manages to escape and we are finally introduced to the villain...
*
Patrick Stewart!*
Unfortunately, not all is well in the land of Picard, as his henchman are plotting against him. Let's not focus on that and instead work in a scene with a bunch of rappers. Sure- why not?!? Big Daddy Kane and others make appearances, but do they really add anything. Well, in the time since I watched this movie (a couple of years ago), I barely remember them being in it. I can remember a lot of things for a long time (the death scene from Orca after last watching it in my teens). When my brain blocks parts of your movie out, that says a lot.*
The climax involves lots and lots of shooting. A running joke involves Lambert and Peebles still not trusting each other. Amidst all of the action, they both end up shooting each other in the leg. That is one weird form of male-bonding! In spite of this, neither of them get hit or killed. Don't you just love the movies. In the end, the good guys win and the bad guys lose. What else would you expect from a movie written by Steven "The Mummy" Sommers?
*
This movie is, well, very generic. Lambert and Peebles are not bad by any stretch of the imagination, but they have almost nothing to work with. One of them is wacky and the other is super-strict- oh, the originality! Leary is fun to watch, but definitely under-written as well. He stays above the fray by at least looking like he is riffing. I will not even dignify the pointlessness of Stewart's role with a snarky comment- except for this one. On the plus side, lots of shit blows up! Yeah, that is still not enough.*
Let's give the combination of guns and Lambert one more shot. Unfortunately, this movie was directed by the guy behind Cyborg 2. Stay tuned...
Albert Pyun directed Cyborg not Cyborg 2.
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