You pretty much have no expectations of quality, do you? Well, you are in the right frame of mind. A lot of people don't realize/care that Hell Comes to Frogtown actually spawned three sequels! Seriously, three of them! We would probably five or six had the director not died of natural causes in 2003. It was too late for us to avoid this movie though. Unlike the original, it does not star "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. That could be a positive or a negative really. Unfortunately, the latter is far more applicable for this movie. Sit down and revel in the crap that is...
The movie begins with a very brief- and misleading- recap of the first movie. Basically, the Frog people were put down, but plan their revenge. It begins with Lou Ferrigno 'flying' over the wasteland of Texas. The Superman flight in the Kirk Alyn serials looked more convincing! A small group of frog commandos shoots him down and he crashes into a lake. Lou is captured and taken to their base. Their leader is called by the same name as the General from the first film, but is hidden is silhouette until the end. Do you smell a plot twist?
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To rescue him, a female agent is sent in to the enemy territory. Of course, she is joined by Sam Hell, who has become a *snicker* Texas Rocket Ranger in the five years since Hell. Oh wait, she's actually joined by this Sam Hell. Yeah, we are not fooled movie. Anyhow, fake 'Sam' flies in and settles in for the night. The duo stays with a generically-crusty old soldier with an eye-patch. Other than adding color, he adds absolutely nothing. Meanwhile, Lou is being subjected to some experiments by the amphibians. Their plan: make him one of them! It's never clear how this will exactly turn the tide, but, whatever. When you consider who their head scientist is, it all makes as much sense as is possible.
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The movie is a series of action scenes, captures and escapes from here on out. The lady gets captured and does a PG-13 striptease (just like in the original). She is locked up with Lou, who is now covered in spots of green grease paint. Sam rescues her, but not everything goes well. All of it builds up to a long, boring shoot-out in a western town right out of the worst westerns ever made (i.e. Corman's Gunslinger, etc.). Lou is given a tiny shotgun to use and beats other Frogs up with his super-strength. He did not have that before, mind you, just now. All of this builds up to Sam vs. the mysterious general who is...the twin brother of the dorky scientist in a big helmet. He proceeds to have a sword fight with our hero and ends up being blown up in a very low-rent explosion. Despite being half-frog, Lou is alright and the day is saved. Is it over now? Thank God.
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From the first shot to the credits, this movie screams 'low-budget crap.' The whole thing is filmed in burned-out building, studio back lots and open fields. The frog masks don't look completely terrible, but they are still very much masks. The plot is...well, barely a plot. It is a loose story that gets people from Point A to Point B and that is it. The real slap in the face for the movie is the DVD release. Netflix carries it on a double-film DVD with some random kid's film called Jacob Two Two Meets the Hooded Fang. As one commenter said, "I don't understand why they bundled them, seems really stupid, but they did." The same kind of logic was used in the film itself, so where is the surprise? Do yourself a favor and watch anything else.
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What goes better than cannibals than John Saxon? Stay tuned...
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