Stop making me watch these movies, Chris Jericho! My love for the performer makes me willing to watch just about anything he's been in. Considering that he's wrestled for the CNWA, CRMW, FMW, CMLL,WAR, ECW, WCW and the WWE, it's a lot to see. His film career, however, is less stellar and broad. Not counting wrestling DVDs, he only has three films officially via Netflix: Albino Farm, MacGruber and this film. Having read Chris Jericho's second book, I can tell you that he doesn't think a whole lot about this movie. Seriously, his book spends about a paragraph on it- tops! This Sci-Fi Channel film is essentially Enemy Mine, but with robots. On the plus side, Jericho is in it...for about twenty minutes. Hey- I'll take what I can get. To see how much this film really has to offer, read on. Put a stop to Cyberdyne before we get the...
In a world full of crime, a scientist has been pushing for robots to really do something about it. There was also some sort of nuclear war, but it's quickly glossed over. A group of androids- including Joey Lawrence and Chris Jericho- are sent out to save a Senator's son, which is apparently the most important task available. Those with a keen eye will note that Jericho is not in a background shot later- why?!? Anyhow, we meet our hero- a coal miner who is laid off when he refuses to work with androids. He goes out drinking at a bar where people fight for money in the background. The toughest fighter: Chris Jericho! Our hero tries to get into a fight himself, but the cops show up. What was exactly illegal here? Later that night, our hero and his friend are out drinking when they provoke Jericho. A fight breaks out, but, sadly, it turns against Jericho and he gets killed when his head is smashed up against a brick wall repeatedly. What kind of metal are these androids made out of- aluminum?!? The guy is arrested for 'android murder' and ends up chained to an android (Lawrence) who's being shipped to the same facility for repairs. Whose idea was it to have the robot factory and the prison in the same building?!?
A rogue robot right out of the Terminator franchise shoots up the transport and our heroes escape. This is where the movie is just blatantly Enemy Mine. The two fight, make up and walk around a desert. I think that we can all agree that the 'heroes walk through the desert' scene is the movie equivalent of the 'Sewer Level' in video games. That's why folks love Gerry, I guess. Moving on...
Eventually, the pair get split up. Our human hero ends up in a mine with his wife. On the plus side, they're back together...in forced labor. The android works against his creator, since the guy is so obsessed with android dominance that he turned himself into one! Isn't that kind of like doing brain surgery on yourself? As you can imagine, humans and the android fight together against the villain and his random robots. Good triumphs over evil as I'm left wondering why Chris Jericho isn't in more of this movie. The End.
Yeah, you've seen this movie. The plot of this movie is by-the-books and tries nothing that unique. I know I've mentioned it before, but most of the film is Enemy Mine- just with aliens switched out for androids. A lot of questions are raised- how much humanity do androids have, are they slaves, do humans really deserve what they get- but none of them are really raised. The answers are excised in favor of an evil villain trying to take over the world- of course- in the name of android freedom. Been there, done that. The movie is so stock that I think that they sell it to put on meat in supermarkets! Nothing all that interesting after Jericho is killed and Joey Lawrence cannot act- even when you consider that he's supposed to be emotionless. If you like generic, Sci-Fi Channel films, this is one of them. Take us away, Jericho's double for no reason...
Next up, a film involving a bad comedian, a bad wrestler-turned-actor and a fake action star. Hello, bad blue screen! Stay tuned...
No comments:
Post a Comment