My morbid curiosity often takes me to really some really strange places. How else would I have seen a movie about a Japanese punk band fighting zombies or a man with a giant turkey head killing hippies and drinking their blood? Mind you, it would be hard to have a website like this without this weird drive to see insane crap. Even so, movies like Entrails of a Virgin and Eternal Evil of Asia make me question how good of an idea this is. Then I watch movie that are both strange and entertaining to keep me focused. One such movie is the subject of today's review, a film that could only have ever been made in one decade. It is...
Yes, it is supposed to be 'Humpp' with two 'P's. I don't really know why. I guess that they thought it would seem like a real name that way. One word: fail.
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Our movie begins with sex and lots of it. The first ten minutes consist of people beginning to set up for sex. Right as they are about to really begin, a mysterious shadow comes over them and the scene changes. This happens about four or five different times...in a row. In fairness, you do get a fair range of scenes, from two lesbians undressing to a woman amongst a pack of men. This is a porn for all seasons, really. Around eight minutes of this, you begin to question what the point of all this really is. The answer is made clear...ish by an explanation from the title character. He talks to his female lab assistant about how his experiments involve getting people sexually excited and getting some weird chemicals out of them as a result. It's not what it sounds like, people. Apparently, the woman would like to be involved in the experiments (wink, wink), but the man turns a blind eye to her. He also injects himself with something to stop fake veins from popping up on his body.
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The film changes its narrative to that of a reporter investigating the mysterious disappearances. Things get a little more clear when the scientist runs low on some unnamed chemicals for his work. He does the most logical thing and sends his weird monster down to a bunch of pharmacies to pick up the stuff. God forbid you send the normal-looking lady! After interviewing one of the men at the scene, the police and the reporter talk about what the reason for the trip may have been. In response to a cop, the reporter gives one of my favorite lines of all time- 'Anyone who really needs drugs does not send his monster to the drug store.' How insightful and true, sir! After some touring of the site to see the man's experiments, we get a bit where the reporter follows the monster back to his lair. Well, he tries to do so before he gets caught anyways. He wakes up in one of the man's rooms and is met by the lady assistant. He tries to escape, but decides to stay and have sex with her as some of the drugs given to him earlier take effect. Good call.*
It's hard to explain much of the plot of this movie after that because there hardly is any. We get some scenes of the police trying to find him, but mostly focus on the site. One scene has the two lesbians reverting to their old ways in a shed while the monster watches. The assistant gets less sullen after getting some from the reporter, but still has eyes for the John Saxon-looking scientist. He also has a brain in a jar as one of his confidantes. If they don't explain it, don't expect me to. We also learn that the monster is one of his early experiments. So, to review: brain/head in a jar and a creepy monster. Can you say The Brain That Wouldn't Die, children? He also forces the assistant and the reporter to have sex Demolition Man-style via telepathic head-pieces. I'm not sure why any of this happens. When you re-dub an Argentinian horror film and add in roughly twenty minutes of superfluous sex scenes, what do you expect? Eventually, we learn that our villain was the first subject of an aforementioned scientist thirty years ago who has since been turned into a brain in a jar. Both of them die in ridiculous ways. The End.
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You have to be in the right frame of mind for this movie. It is ponderous at times and obsessed with sex at other times. It is full of super-fake science and tech-lingo. The sex scenes are not nearly as extended as Please, Don't Eat My Mother, but are entirely pointless. The DVD transfer is as good as the source materials allow, which means that they are pretty damn bad. The black-and-white print disguises issues that would have been more present in a color film, but only by a little. This film was released by Something Weird, the same company behind Mother, most of the Herschell-Gordon Lewis movies (upcoming reviews all) and Blood Freak. These people have a treasure trove of utter crap, including two porn versions of the Tarzan tales- not to be confused with Tarzan and his Mate- and a film about interracial dating called- seriously- Chessboard. If you get movies from them, do not expect quality work. If you want completely insane shit that you would never have believed existed, they are for you.
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Up next, the return of Rip-off Cinema and WTF China in one film. What can it be? I'll never tell. Stay tuned...
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