Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Moviestopped: Poker Run

Run being the appropriate word.  Today's Film is Poker Run, a Horror-Thriller packed on the same Disc as Grizzly Park and Blood Creek.  Low-Budget Film that disappoints again?  Yep, the streak stays alive!  Here's hoping that the final Film is better.  The Plot here- two guys must contend with 2 Bikers to rescue their wives.  Did you ever want to see a worse version of Breakdown with no Stars?  Well, you're in luck.  I would ask why your dreams were both so bad AND specific too!  Should I do the Credits bit?  Alright, I will.  The Director has done this Film and a bunch of Video Shorts for Games like Fallout 3 and Dead Rising 3 for Loot Crate.  Well, work is work.  Only one of these Actors appears to have gone on to be anything major and he's just a random 2-line Character who just happens to now be 'Dario Cueto' on Lucha Underground.  The Plot has some promise, but quickly devolves into bad, familiar territory.  To see how it all burns out, read on...
In a cold open, people are tortured.  Thanks- that added alot.
The basic premise- these 2 Bikers try to sell Bikes to make a profit, that doesn't go in their favor.
Meanwhile, 2 Lawyers dream of being Bikers and, as luck would have it, meet said Bikers later.
They now go out on the open road with their wives, agreeing to go on the titular Poker Run.

I hope you weren't too attached to that Title aspect, since it amounts to, well, nothing.
The bad Bikers finally make their move and kidnap the wives.  Want to know their plan?
Well, it amounts to this...

1) Sell Bikes to people.
2) Take them out to the Desert.
3) Kill them and sell the wives.
4) Repeat.

Somewhere along the line, they take the time to rip off 12 Rounds.  Yes, that one.
To be honest with you, the Film just gets so bleak, violent and oddly-dull that I just kind of zoned out.  Here are the key points:

- Our Heroes do bad things.
- Our Heroes meet odd people.
- They show a Flashback in black-and-white for no good reason.
I could give you context for this...but where's the fun in that?
After a whole lot of violence, everyone you like dies, our Hero rides off and the nice people are seemingly-killed by the surviving bad guy and this random RV Family.  The End.
Just run.  This one is just not good.  I'll get to the positives first.  Some of the Acting is good, feeling natural at times.  Alright, the good stuff is out of the way.  The Plot is just a mix of boring, nonsense and violence.  The crux of the Story is just confusing.  So the Bikers get mad when the guy running the Bike Shop won't buy his new bikes (as the last ones were found to be stolen).  After this, they go right to the plan of selling them to our Heroes and act like this was a regular occurrence.  So which one was it?  Did they sell Bikes to the shop OR did they sell them to random people to kill?  Pick one!!!  There are a bunch of other connected things that raise concerns like contacts they have along the Road and at the Hotel.  It sure is good to know that they pay them enough to cover up all of their random crimes.  The big problem is the Tone.  It is bleak, unpleasant and not fun at all.  Can you give us any humor or anything?  Just lots of torture, murder and violence?  Alright then.  Poker Run could be a good Film...but it isn't.  Here's a Cartoon...
Next up, the final Film on the Disc (and my main reason for getting it).  Can Adrian Paul save the Disc?  Stay tuned...

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