Monday, September 7, 2015

Top 12 Craziest Labor Scenes in Movies

Today is all about Labor.

Unless I've completely-misconstrued things, it is all about Women in Labor.  As such, here are the Top 12 Craziest Labor Scenes in Movies- some of which even feature Men!

12. Star Trek (2009): All in all, not the craziest thing you'll see here.  In the opening of this famous Reboot, a young Captain named Kirk has his Ship under attack by a guy named Nero.  He sends his wife away in an Escape Pod while she gives birth to his child.

The fact that the Dad is played by 'Thor'- bonus.

11. Children of Men: A poignant moment...for a change.  In this Sci-Fi Film, no Children have been born for 20 years!  As society falls apart, one man protects a pregnant woman wanted by many groups for many reasons.  In the middle of a literal war zone, she gives birth to her child.  When the baby cries, the Soldiers nearby stop- transfixed by the sound.

When else has a birth changed the course of society so much?

10. Men in Black: And now for something completely different.  As one of his early moments as a Man in Black, Agent J helps a man and his alien wife deliver their baby at roadside.  As it turns out, the baby is a bit of a cephalopod and swings him around like crazy.

9. It's Alive (1974): It is an adorable killer.  In the famous Opening to the Film, a man goes to see his Wife deliver his baby and finds chaos.  It turns out that her baby was born mutated and has sharp teeth.  It attacked the Doctors and Nurses before fleeing into the Sewers.

Kudos for giving us a Scene so famous that The Upright Citizens Brigade parodied it!
8. The Fly (1985): For all you thought that most babies look ugly when they first come out.  In the Cronenberg Classic, Gena Davis gives birth to her baby from Jeff Goldblum's Scientist.  Unfortunately, his DNA was mutated at the time of conception, so she gives birth to a larvae!

The worst part- it set up the underwhelming The Fly 2.

7. Shoot 'Em Up: This time with Comedy.  In this 2007 Action-Comeday, a mysterious man saves a woman as she gives birth in a Factory.  The baby is born during a shoot-out (what else?) and the man even 'cuts' the cord using his gun.

As a bonus, it is Clive Owen again.  How did that happen?

6. Dawn of the Dead (2004): Babies aren't always cute.  In the Zack Snyder Remake, this pregnant lady is bitten, but still delivers her kid.  Not surprisingly, it too is a Zombie.  How...not cute.

Come to Daddy!
5. Twilight- Breaking Dawn, Part 1: Can you blame me?  In this insipid Film, Vampire Edward and Human (so you say) Bella finally get married, go on their honeymoon and IMMEDIATELY get her pregnant by the time they get home.  That sure speeds things up!

With her half-Vampire baby inside of her, life for Bella is hard (for once!).  The actual delivery is ridiculous and full of fake blood.  It is so goofy that even the Stars can't take it seriously!
4. Junior: Arnold Schwarzanegger gets pregnant and gives birth.

Need I say more?

3. Xtro: All the proof that one crazy Greek man needs.  In this bizarre Film, a man is abducted by Aliens in front of his son.  He returns years later when a woman gets infected by something strange and gives birth at a full-grown man.

Well, at least that doesn't happen again.
2. Warlock- The Armageddon: Oh right- it does.  In this Horror Sequel, the Son of Satan has come to Earth to start the End Times a little early by way of some Druid Stones.  I know- don't ask.  So how does he come to Earth?  By magically-impregnating a woman and being born, of course.

Yet again- gross and freaky.
1. Alien/Humanoids from the Deep (1980 and 1997): How can this NOT be Number 1?  In the Ridley Scott Classic, John Hurt gets a face-hugger (how adorable-sounding!) on his face, but recovers.  Later, he freaks out at Dinner and a chest-burster (less adorable-sounding) emerges.

This is such a good Scene that Roger Corman stole it- twice!  Yes, it counts if it is a Remake.

On the whole, this was much less painful than any of the Scenes listed.  Enjoy your day of Labor!

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