Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Moon Over Miami: Puppet Master X- Axis Rising

I eagerly await the 3 people who will disagree with me.  Today's Film is Puppet Master X- Axis Rising, a Film which is somehow the 10th Film even though the last one was too.  I don't expect logic in a Series in which the 7th Film is actually first in Chronological Order.  As a bonus, that one apparently isn't Canon anymore- okay.  It has been years since I did one of these Films, even though I literally own all of them- save this one.  Can you blame me?  In the previous Film, Nazis came for Toulon's formula to make Puppets come to life, but he killed himself (in the first Scene of the 1st Film).  Shortly after that, some other guy found it and ended up fighting the Axis.  Those evil Krauts, Japs and Italians (not featured) wanted to stop our efforts in WWII- in 1939.  Yes, before we fought the War, they wanted to stop us from fighting the War!  My head!  That Film ended with a Cliffhanger of sorts as Tunneler (the one with a drill on his head) is stolen by the fake-Chinese-but-actually-Japanese-lady (played by a Chinese Lady!!!!) at the end.  What will our Heroes do?  Will this fit into the Continuity even slightly?  To find out, read on...
The evil Japanese Lady- Recast for this Cameo- gives Tunneler (which she stole) to the Nazis and doesn't play a part anymore.  You can't handle Nazis and evil Japanese Spies, audience!
Our Heroes- now with  both Recast- talk about what they need to do.

Kudos for pointing out that calling the Japanese person a 'Dragon Lady' is wrong.  Lack of kudos for making that a meaningless point with her not being important anymore.
The evil SS Girlfriend offends her boyfriend enough that he kills her!  He presses the kidnapped Austrian Scientist to revive her...but it fails.  Plan B!
In keeping with Full Moon's cultural sensitivity, here is another evil Puppet- Kamikaze.

Stay classy.
With the Ninja puppet (new Doll #17) gone, they make Gunslinger to help even the odds.

Of course, Toulon used this same doll in 1941 Germany (while ALIVE!!!), so how the hell does this work?
Here's where this Film really fails.  We see the Puppets do battle as the Climax begins...and we never see the resolution.  How do you screw something like this up?
Since I don't care about SPOILERS in this instance, we see the evil Nazi get killed by the Puppets...
...and Kamikaze blows up, after spending over half the Film running around like he was about to.
In the aftermath, our dumb heroes let the Austrian Scientist go free...but he takes a vial of the Formula with him.  To be continued (as an insult to Continuity)?  The End.
This is about as bad as I expected.  It has been awhile since I watched one of these Films and they, as a whole, just don't work for me anymore.  It feels weird to say this, but the early Films actually had (generally) better effects.  There seemed to be very little (good) effort to actually use the Puppets as, well, Puppets.  They barely move and shake the things around in this Film.  It is almost like they don't want to use the Puppets, but also can't help but use the Puppets.  If they don't care, why should I?  I should also note that the man behind Full Moon is the Director here.  Is it weird that I almost miss David DeCoteau?  Yes, he makes those 1313 Films, but also Directed the best Film in this Franchise.  The closest thing we get is the new Star being from a 1313 Film already.  The Recasting and Continuity issues- Why does our Hero have a house now?  How did the other Puppets un-kidnap themselves?- are just the icing dollops on this disappointing Cake.  Sadly, this Cake isn't a lie- it just sucks.  On the plus side, here is this one shot that would never be put in by David DeCoteau...
Next up, a modern Horror Film that seeks to be retro.  Is Cabin in the Woods a Genre now?  Stay tuned...

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