Sunday, February 22, 2015

Rare TV Flix: Island of the Dead

A recent addition proved to be good (fodder for a Review).  The Movie itself...kind of sucks.  This will be a short one, huh?  Nah.  Today's Film is Island of the Dead, a TV Movie from the year 2000.  In my experience, Films with 'of the Dead' in the Title that are not by Romero tend to suck.  Of course, Romero's own have themselves.  In this Film, a group of people go to a place called Hart Island off the coast of New York.  The place is full of unmarked graves, which a bad man wants to put buildings on top of.  Before we can get another Poltergeist out of this (too late!), some weird shit goes down.  I won't SPOIL it just yet.  Just know that this is a pretty obscure Film with one Star on the rise at the time (Talisa Soto), one Veteran Star on the decline (Malcolm McDowell) and one who has no reason to be here (Mos Def).  Want to know more about this yet?  I sure hope so...
A woman is looking into the history of the unmarked graves left on Hart Island since the Civil War.
This guy wants to build property on the place, since the land is cheap.
These dudes are stuck delivering the bodies and burying them as payment for their petty crimes.
This barely-90-minute Film pads its Runtime with lots of walking...and bickering...and talking.
About an hour in, we finally get some action.  What is this Film building up to?
Flies.  Evil, angry Flies.

I'll give you a moment to stop laughing and continue.
When they attack you, you get all made up. the most interesting thing here.  Aw.
You want to know what the least interesting thing is?  Shooting shots of Flies at night.  Ugh.
When all is said and done, Soto goes back unharmed and...the movie ends.  Alright then.
So yeah, kind of...not good.  Okay- kind of shit.  Don't get me wrong- there was certainly promise.  The real Story about Hart Island is certainly a good set-up for Horror.  There really are lots and lots of unclaimed bodies there.  So, of course, with that real set-up, we get...killer flies.  Yes, there is more to it than that.  No, that doesn't make killer flies look less silly.  Deep down, I do love Malcolm McDowell too.  He's great.  He just picks so much shit to be in.  In a perfect world, he gets good work know, does it.  As it is, the best thing quality-wise I've seen him in is those Commercials with James Earl Jones.  Remember those?  You certainly don't remember this one.  Give me a few days and I won't either.  I feel like I shouldn't forget it...but I'm totally going to.  Speaking of things to never forget...
Next up, I tackle some recent crap from WWE Films.  Given how the first Film had promise (and nothing more), how will this one go?  Stay tuned...

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