Saturday, March 29, 2014

Mondo Bizarro's Top 10 Weirdest Dracula Films

Dracula is cool.  Dracula is scary.  To some people, Dracula is even sexy.

However, here are ten oddities that may dispel your opinion about the Character in many ways.

10. Doctor Dracula: The Count's part in this Al Adamson film is pretty straight-forward.  However, the film was originally Written as a film about a Cult full of people reincarnating for power.  To help sell it, Drac was added to the film.  Sigh.

9. Pakistani Dracula: This is a pretty straight-forward version of the tale.  What makes it seem odd is that you *expect* it to be crazier, especially when you see the Mondo Macabre Trailer.  It is weird in parts though.

8. Sundown- The Vampire In Retreat: While Dracula doesn't play a huge part here, the film itself is quite odd (in a good way).  A group of Vampires try to live peacefully on synthetic blood, but a rift emerges.  It is some Vampire-on-Vampire action with a hint of Romance and a love triangle to boot.

7. Bram Stoker's Dracula: The Love Story- To Die For: Its bulky title alone could put it on the list, but it is quite odd too.  There are two Vampires fighting over a girl, although I could have sworn it was a split-personality thing until much later.  Seriously though, who thought up that title?

6. Dracula II- Ascension: One moment can really define a film- for good or bad.  Near the climax, Dracula is escaping from his confinement.  To slow him down, our hero throws a bunch of marbles, since the Count apparently has super OCD.  He uses his powers to count them super-fast (cue bullet time), rendering the plan moot.

No, really.

5. The Killer Barbys vs Dracula: Jesus Franco made this movie about The Count trying to kill a rock band. I need say no more.

4. Dario Argento's Dracula 3-D: The film is a somewhat-loose, somewhat-tight version of the classic Tale.  However, it has some crazy quirks like Dracula turning into a bunch of flies, an Owl and a man-sized Praying Mantis.

That happens.

3. Zoltan...Hound of Dracula: This is a film about Dracula's pet dog.  The dog is also a Vampire.  Any questions?

2. Dracula Rising: This surprisingly-dull film is told in a shit-ton of flashback footage.  For the End, however, Dracula and his rival start casting magic spells and throwing fireballs.  So yeah, it's weird.

1. Die Hard Dracula: Are you trying to be funny.  This film features many goofy ideas and visuals, including Dracula throwing fireballs.  How does that happen in two films?!?  The movie is consistently more goofy and inept, giving it the slight 'edge' here.

Any film with a flying coffin set to operatic music wins any day of the week.

Runners UpDracula Blows His Cool, Bram Stoker's Dracula's Guest, Bram Stoker's Dracula's Curse, Dracula 3000, The Vampire/The Vampire's Coffin


  1. The marble counting episode actually goes back to one of the earliest parts of vampire legend. They are supposed to have some quirky need to count things. Poppy seeds often were placed at the grave of a suspected vampire to keep him/her busy all night counting. Chinese folklore also held that a vampire would have to count all the grains if he/she came across a bag of rice. This gives new depth to Sesame Streets Count. So, the inclusion of this in a movie actually is interesting. Doing it in high speed is a little weird.

    1. Don't get me wrong- I'm not judging them for having the idea in there.

      The film uses every rare and random rule. They cover him in a shawl made of tied knots (which he must compulsively untie), do the seeds bit and keep high-wattage bulbs on him.

      The bullet time seed counting bit is great (for all of the wrong reasons). It is supposed to be bad-ass when he does it, but...yeah. Dopey.