Dracula Week: The Killer Barbys vs. Dracula

Wow, I just love these Jesus Franco films.  The guy has made 191 films according to IMDB.  Damn, when did the guy find time to sleep?  This film is a more recent effort- it's from 2002- so maybe he's gotten better.  The film is a follow-up to The Killer Barbys, a film about...well, The Killer Barbys.  This is apparently a real Spanish punk band known as The Killer Barbies.  Evidently, they weren't allowed to use the copyrighted toy name in a film.  It's also a Spanish/Italian co-production, making this even more of a mess than it had to be.  The film involves Dracula being awoken by the band playing nearby and chaos ensues.  That's pretty much it, but I'll find more to say.  Let's just get this shit over with, shall we?  Get out your vampire rabbit for my review of...

The problems mount right away as the film just meanders about for fifteen minutes.  Basically, the band shows up and plays.  During all of this, we cut to random comedy characters.  For example, there's a piano player in a nearby bar.  Does he add anything?  No.  We also are 'privileged' to watch the band and performers practice.  What is this- This is It?  This drags on for quite a while until we get to the meat of the film- twenty minutes in!  Dracula is buried nearby and gets woken up by the band's practicing.  Dracula is now the annoyed woman one floor down from you!  A woman in town warns them of the problem, but it's too late.  We also get a Dr. Seward on his way, since we can't afford a Van Helsing.  The Count goes on a killing spree, but it's not that simple.  In a weird bit, a reporter covering the Barbys runs into Dracula and tries to interview him.  Yeah, he kills her.  She has time to ask him why he's so evil, to which he replies 'I had bad parents.'  Not funny, movie.  Oh yeah, he also morphs into three vampires.  They don't explain and it never happens again.  Moving on...

So yeah, there's nothing much to talk about from this point.  Dracula wanders around in broad daylight and kills people, all the while not drawing much attention.  Eventually, the Barbys finally get around to their concert and it's...the same stuff we've heard before.  Dracula shows up and attacks the singer, but is chased away by the light.  Of course- that's why he went towards the light first.  They set a trap for him eventually, leading to him being staked and...turning into a rabbit.  Everyone celebrates as Dracula's giant head laughs in the night sky.  The End.  Just take solace in all of these kills, people.

This movie sucks- duh!  This Franco film is not funny and it's not scary.  The Dracula they got is decent, save for the times when his head is too tan for the make-up (see above).  The film is just so random and un-focused to make any sense.  The Dracula stuff almost feels tacked on to this movie that is just about watching a band practice for a show.  Why should I care?  Even if I was a fan of this band (I'm not), why would I care?  Do I want to watch a whole film that is just practice takes and read-throughs?  Hell, even my favorite movie of all-time (The Abominable Dr. Phibes) would be boring if it was just Vincent Price chatting with Anton Fuest about how the shoot was going.  Why does this movie need to exist?  If you have a reason, let me know.  I'm all ears.

Up next, another Dracula comedy is on the way.  This one is from Italy, so it must be better...right?  Stay tuned...