Friday, November 29, 2013

Rare Flix: Lucker the Necrophagous

This is a one-note movie.  That note: pointless violence.  That's probably enough of a review for alot of you, but I will still keep going.  Today's film is Lucker The Necrophagous, a Rare Flick from Belgium.  It went out-of-print for a long time, so, naturally, someone had to find a copy.  Thanks a ton!  Basically, a crazy guy is going around and killing women.  When he does that, he does all sorts of lovely stuff to their corpses.  I don't think that I need to say any more than that.  If this sounds familiar, it does bear a similarity to Anthrophagous, a film by Joe D'Amato.  That film is most famous for a scene where George Eastman's killer eats a woman's fetus (actually an uncooked rabbit).  That's what you're trying to copy, huh?  Alright then.  Will this 1986 Cult Film turn out to be a Restored Gem or just a Polished Turd?  To find out, read on...
A Serial Killer named Lucker is in a Hospital after a suicide attempt.  I guess the budget was too low to actually show the scar from when he supposedly cut his throat.
He, of course, escapes and starts to kill the people in the Hospital.  There is literally ZERO security for this Serial Killer who is in a normal Hospital.  Damn you, Belgium!
He escapes the building- which is really easy when you have a lax Screenplay- and pursues new prey.

Before he can do that, however, he discovers that his lone surviving victim is still around.  He has to thank THE WORST NEWS TEAM EVER for listing the new address of the woman.  You have lots of blood on your hands, morons!
I suppose I could just save a lot of time and just start Cutting and Pasting this sentence: Lucker kills a random person just because they are there.
Oh and he does stop to take a power nap or two.  It is really tiring to kill people....um, or so I've heard.
Listen- if you kill a lady and start humping the corpse for awhile, you are going to get tuckered out.

Again- or so I've been told.
He starts to kill more people, including two friends of our heroine, a random guy and the Landlord.  He leaves one of them alive to scream...and scream...and scream.

She's an all-scream version of one of those CDs you play at your house on Halloween.
More screaming.  She escapes.  More screaming.  Lucker keeps getting knocked down.  More screaming.
In the Finale, she catches Lucker climbing up an Elevator Shaft, closes the door and he seemingly falls to his death.  Well, until the Credits...if you care.  The End.
Ugh.  I don't hate gore in films.  There are many good films that are quite gory that I happen to love.  Waxwork is ridiculously-gory at times.  Cannibal Holocaust has gore so convincing that the Director was prosecuted for Murder.  So that's not the issue.  The issue is that this film is nothing but gore, screaming and the shock of people having bad things done to them.  There is nothing else here.  There is almost no Story.  There are pretty much no Characters other than Lucker (who barely qualifies).  It is just gore, implied Necrophilia and screaming.  There is ALOT of screaming.  Holy crap- shut up, lady!  I get being horrified when you find the bloody bed.  I get being scared by the threat of death.  I get being scared/horrified when he drags the other lady down in front of you.  That said, shut the hell up!  If you (as an Actress) can do nothing more than scream, why are you here?  In summary, it is dark, dreary gore with pretty much nothing else of redeeming value.  Take us away, unofficial Star Wars plug...
Up next, my final Project Terrible film.  Can I take another Morrisey pick or will this be the final Incident for me?  Stay tuned...

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