Tuesday, November 26, 2013

New (Old) Crap?: Gallowwalkers

Let's make an Art Film!  Let's make a Western!  Let's make a Horror Film!  Actually, let's just do ALL of those.  Today's film is Gallowwalkers, a film that has been long-delayed in coming to the United States.  Well, it's all a matter of money.  Specifically, it was a matter of Wesley Snipes' money.  While I have nothing personal against the famous Actor, he is/was kind of a cheap-skate when it came to paying his Taxes.  I'd add 'allegedly' to that sentence, but he was, you know, convicted.  The short version: Snipes was convicted in 2006, leading to a break in filming for him to fly to L.A. and face the charges.  The movie was finished, but wasn't really released until sometime this year.  You would think that a film '7 years in the making' would be bigger than this.  The movie is about a gunman in the West (Snipes) who was cursed to make all of those he killed come back as freaky creatures.  The problem with the film is its identity crisis.  It alternates between being about Action, Horror, Artistic flashbacks and back again.  Snipes does seem more motivated for this film, in contrast to some 'sleepwalking' performance in previous films recently (to when he made this one).  Will he end up in The Expendables 3?  Will he get the possibly-career-reviving kind of role that JCVD got?  Before that can happen, let's see if this film was worth the wait...
The film begins with an out-of-context scene implying a rape and murder.  Starting off classy, movie.

It will make more sense later, although nothing explains why they began with this scene.
Snipes wanders the desert (with Africa subbing in for...I guess, America) and kills the already-dead.  Yeah, it makes total sense.  All you have to do is cut off their heads, since...um, because.
The leader of the group is this freaky-looking dude.  He gets skin later- don't worry.

On the flip side, he's the villain because HE was killed by Snipes, as opposed to SNIPES being killed/left for dead by him (see Jonah Hex, The Lone Ranger).
In a bit that reminds me a bit of Priest (which the film is alot like), Snipes rescues a young guy and trains him as a Pupil.  I'm not really sure why- he just kind of does.
 Over forty-minutes in, we finally learn Snipes' origin.  It involves murder, revenge and, in a rare twist, 'white-face.'  You just have to see it.
It's also important not to be distracted by Snipes' fake-looking and silly beard.

It really is silly, right?
I won't SPOIL the Climax of the film in any major way.  I will mention that there's a henchman with a giant, spiked helmet.  I don't really know why, but I don't question such things at this point.
Speaking of which, Diamond Dallas Page appears as another Henchman.  His role amounts to basically-nothing, unfortunately.
The Climax is not super-impressive, but it does serve as a nice post card for Africa.  It is nice and scenic.  The End.
It looks neat, but I don't really know if I can say more than that.  Gallowwalkers (a title that Spell Check hates) is not a bad movie.  It's not all that great of a movie either.  It is not all that scary at any point.  There's Action, but it is never all that exciting at any point.  The presentation is very Arty at times, but never that deep at any point.  It always seems to fall in the middle of all of those.  That said, it is a good enough movie.  It is a bit tricky to recommend.  While alot of people don't like Priest, it is easy to pick out the audience to recommend it to.  The same could be said about Jonah Hex, another off-kilter Western.  As for this film, it is recommended to those who like off-beat films and are willing to try something different.  As for the rest of you, you may like certain parts alot and not like other parts at all.  I'm helpful, right?  I'll leave you with this odd guy who apparently has a lizard head (or something)...
Next up, I review the Remake of a 1960s film that was covered in October.  People that film in glass houses can throw no stones.  Stay tuned...

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